


Wings of A Butterfly

by xaiya



Category: Loveless
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaiya/pseuds/xaiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my version of Loveless, basically, with more focus on Soubi and Ritsuka. I'm using the books to keep my story together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ritsuka's Story

**Author's Note:**

> Written here in this beginning paragraph in bold is not entirely important and can be skipped. For those who read it, I'll try keeping it short.  
> First, as you surely all know, I do not own Loveless, it's character, or it's storyline. Also be aware that I used a few exact quotes. I won't point them out in the story, as that would be distracting.
> 
> Second, I will explain a bit about my story here.  
> This isn't one of those fanfics that have nothing to do with the story. This is my version of Loveless. It is my intention to use the manga and maybe the anime to keep my story in touch.  
> As a warning, I must say this story is not centered around sex, but it does have mature yaoi moments. I trust you all know the ages of the characters and are prepared for any sexuality I may throw in. Also beware of abuse.  
> This is the only author's note I intend to include in this story. Please enjoy.

_A world without you isn't a world at all._

_~_

  
_They say traumatic experiences change people._  
_Any number of things can go wrong in your head._  
_It's like a scar that never fades._

      "Ritsuka... Wake up Ritsuka."  
Such a soft, gentle voice... Let me sleep just a bit longer.  
      "It's time to wake up, Ritsuka."  
      "Good morning, Seimei... Seimei? Where are you? Where did you go?"  
Was I hearing things?  
      "Ritsuka... Help. Help me, please."  
      "Seimei! I can't see you. Where are you?"  
      "Ritsuka please! It hurts!"  
No... No! Seimei... Where is he?  
      "Seimei!"

  
_Silence._  
_Painful, deafening silence._

  
      "Don't leave me... Please. Never leave me. Don't leave me alone!"  
Ritsuka's desperate screams echoed back to him, mixing with the sound of his footsteps.  
Running... Running, but never seeming to get any closer.  
Answer me Seimei..

  
      "Gah!"  
      "Seimei! Please be okay... I can't lose you!"  
      "R-Ritsuka! In the classroom... You have to hurry! I can't take this much longer..."  
Does this hallway ever end? Can't breathe...

  
      Hesitantly, he grasped the handle to his classroom door.  
What's happening? What am I about to see?  
The door swung open. Flames erupted around Seimei like an angry beast... Burning. Burning everything but the ropes holding Seimei to Ritsuka's chair.  
      "Ahg! R-Ritsuka... Y-you shouldn't... S-see me l-like this... Gah!"  
      "Seimei! I'll get you out! Just hold on!"  
Ritsuka tried to take a step forward, but the floor turned to mush. It wrapped around his foot, pulling him in.  
      "I... I can't move!"  
      "Ritsuka! It hurts! Make it stop!"  
      "I'm trying! I... I'm... Seimei please! Why is this happening? You're all I have! You can't leave me!"  
Ritsuka reached out for him, fighting with all his strength, but Seimei only seemed to be moving further away from his grasp.  
      "I can't reach you..."  
Seimei's screams pounded violently against Ritsuka's eardrums, tearing his heart into one thousand tiny pieces. Finally, he managed to touch Seimei's hand... His last hope. It disintegrated in his hold and vanished. Everything started to disappear... Ritsuka was going under.  
      "I... Won't make it... Much longer."  
The flames traveled up Seime's body... Slowly destroying him. And all Ritsuka could do was watch.  
      "Seimei... I love you..."  
      "Ritsuka!"

  
Ritsuka's body jolted forward. Sweat coated his hot, red skin like a suit and he grasped at his throat.  
      "Ritsuka, what's going on?!"  
      "Don't leave me!"

  
      "Ritsuka!" A female voice brought him back.  
      "S-sensei...? What is... Why am I..." He panted. "It was... A dream?"  
      "Calm down... Tell me what happened."  
      "I couldn't do anything, Sensei. I tried. I gave it my all, but I couldn't. Seimei's dead. I couldn't help him."   
      "Seimei... I see."  
      "He blames me... I could see it in his eyes. He trusted me with his life, but I just let him burn. What kind of brother am I? What kind of monster does that?!"  
      "Ritsuka! You aren't a monster! Don't ever say that!"  
Ritsuka stopped, his eyes wide. The world was finally settling around him.  
      "Sensei..."

  
_Tick... Tick... Tick._  
_Can't break the silence._

      "It was only a dream, Ritsuka. Seimei's death was not your fault."  
      "How... How could he leave me? I thought... I thought he would never... I loved him so much... So why?"  
      "I... I can't answer that, Ritsuka. Death is... Well, it happens to all of us. No one can tell you why."  
Tears ached to fall. Crying is for little kids... I'm too old to cry.  
      "I'm tired, Sensei. I should go home now. Thank you for letting me sleep here..."  
He gathered his bag and left without another word.  
The sky wept for him.

_Sometimes, the scar runs so deep... Becomes so painful..._  
_That some even go insane._

  
**Aoyagi Household**

  
      "Ritsuka! Did the hypnosis work?" A sullied woman embraced him tightly. "You've come back to me, right?"  
      "I... I'm sorry, Mother... I'm still..."  
Her arms fell to her side and she looked away, pain welling up inside of her.  
      "Can't you look at me? Mother?" He reached up to touch her shoulder, but she slapped his hand away coldly.  
      "Don't call me that! Only Ritsuka and Seimei can call me that!"  
      "Please don't be that way... Mother, I..."  
A very familiar stinging sensation erupted across his cheek.  
      "Give me my Ritsuka back!"  
      "I'm sorry Mother... I'm going to sleep." He ran to his room before she could reply, hoping she wouldn't follow. "Goodnight."  
He received a scream in reply and sunk to the floor in front of his door... His heart pounding in his chest. After a moment, he crawled into bed, weary of sleep. The light began to fade before him and his mind started to race. Dreams lit up his brain and his eyes twitched lightly. Colours flashed and sounds roared. The world was in the palm of his hand... until...  
      "Ow!"  
His eyes shot open, though they were rendered useless by a pillow being pressed over his face as angry fists shot into his stomach.  
His nails dug into the soft material stealing the oxygen from his body and he kicked until he lost feeling in his legs. Lost feeling in his body. Drifting... Floating away once more... His mother continued to brutalise his unconscious body in her fit of rage until she,too, gave in to exhaustion.

_Some try to block it out and lose sight of who they are in the process._

      The sun rose that morning, as it always did.  
Ritsuka's eyes opened cautiously to find his mother passed out over him.  
She must have been at it for a while... I deserved it.  
He took her by the arms and pulled until she was safe in her bed. She looked so peaceful in her sleep...  
      "I'm going to school." His voice was soft and forgiving.

_Which one am I?_  
_You could say "Ritsuka" is already gone._  
_This is my punishment._  
_Seimei... Why couldn't I have died in your place?_  
_I'm not the one everyone wants to see...It's you._  
_I suppose in a way, I did die..._

 


	2. Soubi's Story

_I hate butterflies._  
_I hate them because they are beautiful._

**Art Studio**

  
      "Soubi... Something has been bothering me lately..."  
      "Hmm?"  
      "Well... It's your body. Why do you always wear bandages? Are you clumsy?"  
      "..."  
He never answers... Still, I can't take my eyes off of his neck. That injury never seems to change...

_You beautiful, broken man... Tell me your secrets._

      Kio watched as Soubi's skillful fingers guided the paintbrush along his canvas.  
Another butterfly. So beautiful, so fragile... Just like you.  
      "You fascinate me, Soubi."  
      "How so?"  
      "You're always painting butterflies, yet you say you hate them."  
      "I hate how easily they are caught."

_I'd believe that if only I could catch you... Why do you hide from me, Soubi?_

  
  
      "Pinned through the body and preserved as specimens." He continued.  
Soubi rose from his seat.  
      "No one wants a caterpillar. I'm going home. See you tomorrow, Kio."  
      "Huh? What about the deadline? You're not going to have enough time to finish."  
      "Don't worry about me. You haven't finished your own painting."

~  
**Kio's House**

  
      That Soubi is always so cruel. But I guess I shouldn't complain... At least he isn't ignoring me so much anymore.  
Kio tossed his bag onto the floor and poured himself a glass of water. Unwelcome images of Soubi and his injuries flashed through his mind.  
Surely he doesn't do it to himself, right? Is someone abusing him? He never smiles... He never laughs. It isn't healthy. Why, Soubi? What's wrong with you? If you would just tell me, I would give anything to make your problems go away.  
Anything...

~  
**Soubi's House**

  
_I gave you everything..._

 

      "You must endure, Soubi."  
      "Ngh... S-sensei..."  
The cold leather bit into his skin, followed by warm blood dripping down his back.  
      "Never raise your voice...You must grit your teeth."

  
_You took my innocence..._  
_And then you gave me away._

  
      "Soubi, your sacrifice will be here soon. His name is Aoyagi Seimei. You will become Beloved's fighter."  
      "But I thought...You're just going to hand me over to him? You're going to let him write his name on me?"  
      "I'm giving him my best fighter, Soubi. I prized you above all others. That's why I chose him very carefully."  
      "That's why I... I thought you would give me your name."  
Seimei did unspeakable things to me.  
      "Yes... This looks like a good spot. I shall put my name right here." Seimei traced his fingers across Soubi's neck with a smile, holding a knife in the other hand. "Shall I make it hurt?"

  
_He scarred me... Though not as badly as you._  
_But I didn't show my voice. I followed your order, sensei..._  
_I gave myself to Seimei completely._  
_And then..._

  
      "S-Seimei...?" Soubi fell to his knees, shock painted on his face and desperation in his eyes. "No... No. No!"  
Seimei... Is dead.  
      "Why? Why must everyone leave me? Was I not good enough?"  
I'm alone...  
Alone...

      "Seimei!"  
Soubi woke from his dream unable to move. Darkness surrounded him.  
Minutes later, he rose from his bed and unwrapped the bandages from his neck.  
His scar was bleeding again...

  
"I'm not afraid of putting my name on you.  
I'm not afraid of controlling you, Soubi."

_My name is Beloved._

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Names written in bold before the text is there to tell who is talking and I also use it to tell where the scene takes place.  
~**

**Ritsuka**  
Seimei...  
What am I doing here?

 **Soubi**  
Why do I exist?

 **Ritsuka**  
Do I... Do I exist?

What am I?  
~

 _Another day in this borrowed body..._  
_I'm sorry, Ritsuka._  
_Another day in this stolen life._

 **Ritsuka**  
Good morning Seimei.  
I start sixth grade today. It's no big deal, but I wish you could be here to see it.  
I wish you could be here to protect me...  
Mom is going crazy again. She wants Ritsuka back, but I can't give her what she wants... I've tried. The hypnosis didn't work, either. I just don't understand.  
I shouldn't be here. Ritsuka needs to be here. You need to be here...

Ritsuka carefully took a bite of his breakfast, knowing his mother was watching. Her expression was hopeful, a little anxious.

"How is it, Ritsuka?" Her voice was gentle.

It was delicious... But what would Ritsuka think?  
Come on... What does he like?

"I... I like it."  
Her body relaxed significantly and he heard her sigh in relief.

Yes... That was the right answer.  
Knowing his breakfast was safe, he quickly finished and left for school.

Lucky day...  
Yesterday was not so lucky.  
Instinctively, he cringed and reached to check the bandage on his chin.  
At least it didn't hurt as much this time. Why couldn't Ritsuka have left me instructions on how to do all of this? Every meal is like a game of Russian Roulette.

 **Soubi  
** "Sou-chan, you always wait until the last minute to finish your work!"

Soubi ignored Kio, painting hastily to meet deadline.

"I mean, look at you! You're like a painting corpse. When was the last time you got a full night of sleep? This isn't-"  
"Finished! Finally."  
"Sou-chan! Are you even listening to me? You have to start doing your work on time! Where are you going? I'm not finished with you yet! Sou-chan! Hmmph. That man... Walking out while I was talking to him."

"Soubi, you barely finished in time."  
"I'm sorry, sensei."  
"You need to start being serious about your work."  
"Yes, sir."

Soubi returned to gather his things, not noticing Kio's frustration.

"Sou-chan... You have bags under your eyes and you're getting pale... Listen, we are both too old to be pulling all-nighters like this. I think-"  
"Kio, I'm going home."  
"Wha?! I was trying to have an important conversation... Soubi!"

What an exhausting night...  
Kio is always complaining, but no one even asked him to stay behind.  
Can't he take a hint? Guess there's really no getting rid of that one.

Soubi lit his cigarette and took a seat beside the window.  
The sun is out already...  
He has a point, though. I don't remember a time when I actually slept through the night. Not since Seimei died...  
And to top it all off, I still have to do _that_ later.

 **Ritsuka**  
"We will have a new student as of today. Aoyagi Ritsuka-kun."  
"Hi. Pleased to meet you."

What's with this teacher? She still has her ears and tail...

"Please take a seat, Ritsuka-kun."

And this girl... Why is she staring at me like that? Looks like the only available seat is next to her...

"Hi. Lend me your textbook?"  
"He-here you go!" Her voice was loud and high pitched.

Uh... I thought we could share... Wow. Her boobs are huge. Guess something has to make up for the lack of brains...

"Ritsuka-kun... Do you have a cellphone?"

A cellphone? I don't even know you... Where is this coming from?

"No. I don't."

Question after question was piled onto Ritsuka, though he wasn't the slightest bit interested.  
Gotta shut her up...

"Why are you asking me all of this?"  
"Everyone wants to know more about Ritsuka-kun because he's so cool. Everyone told me to talk to him." The classroom got quiet and suddenly all eyes were on them.  
"Ah.. So that's how it is. I hate pathetic girls like that. People who use others are stupid, but people who get used are even worse. Here's your book back."

She started crying after that and everyone looked at me like I was some kind of monster. Not like I care. I hate stupid girls.

 **Soubi**  
I don't want to do this... But it's Seimei's orders. Even so, this will look a bit suspicious.

"Excuse me, what time does school let out?"  
"It's Saturday, so 12:30"

It's probably best I wait here...

 **Ritsuka  
** The day dragged on in the most unbearable way.

Almost over...

"Aoyagi-kun!" Shinonome-sensei?  
"How was your first day? Is everyone being nice to you?"

She's checking in on me... She must know about what happened...

"Everything's great sensei! Hawatari-san here is being really nice to me."  
Yeah... Too nice... But I'm glad she's here now. "We were just about to go to the library. See you tomorrow!"

That was uncomfortable... I hate when people worry about me.

"Wow! Ritsuka-kun! How could you lie to sensei so easily? You were like a different person!"

A different... Person?

"Don't say that!"  
"R-Ritsuka-kun?"  
"Don't ever say that again!"  
"Y-Yuiko's sorry!"

The tears began to fall...  
Seimei... Are there any people worth staying for? The world is full of pathetic idiots.  
I hate it. You were the only one worth my time... And now you're gone. My reason for living is..."

"What's the matter, Ritsuka? Why are you crying?"


	4. Chapter 4

Concerned eyes stared into Ritsuka as a strange man held him by the arm. His grasp was firm, yet surprisingly gentle.

"I-I'm not crying! Let go of me!"

These words were useless. The mysterious stranger only gripped tighter, pulling Ritsuka closer as if to examine him.

"Who are you?!"  
"You don't know?" The man seemed genuinely surprised.  
"Are you some kind of pervert? A kidnapper?! Let go!"

This man... He doesn't have ears... He's an adult! This is bad...

"You wouldn't come to get me, so I came instead."  
"Why would I come for you? I don't even know you!"  
"Seimei didn't tell you about me?"

Ritsuka froze.

"S-Seimei? You... You know my brother?"  
"Very well."  
"You're Seimei's friend? But I've never seen you before."  
I wouldn't forget a face like that... "What's your name?"  
"Soubi."  
"Soubi? You came to see me?"  
"Yup."

Seimei's friend... Why have I not met him before? Wow! This is exciting! He came to see me! I should get to know him.

"Soubi! Are you free right now?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Let's go make some memories!"

M-memories? Ritsuka, you sure move fast...

"Okay. Whatever you want."

Ritsuka took him by the arm, bursting with excitement, and dragged Soubi along with him to a lovely park nearby.

_Click. Click. Click._

"Wow! We took 50 pictures! I'll print them out later. Don't throw them away, Soubi!"

Ah, so this is what Ritsuka meant by making memories. Wouldn't words be more meaningful?

"Let's talk some more, Ritsuka."

This boy, I know nothing about him... Seimei only told me his name and showed me a picture. I never thought he would be so cute in person, though. Like a little kitten.

"I'm sorry for calling you a pervert and a kidnapper earlier... It's just... I never knew that Seimei had an adult friend."

Ritsuka's face burned bright red.  
Oh... Is he concerned?

"Don't worry. I won't do anything to you."

I see he's innocent, too. Seimei still had his ears when he died, even though he was seventeen. I guess it can't be helped.  
Hmm.. Ritsuka's eyes... He wants this and he doesn't even know it.  
Soubi traced Ritsuka's bottom lip with his thumb and placed his other hand on his cheek.

"Sou-"

Soubi's lips pressed against Ritsuka's, making his heart skip a beat. He could feel the warmth rising in his cheeks.  
Soft... I wonder if the rest of his body is like this, too.

"Wha-?! Soubi!" Ritsuka shoved him away in furious confusion. "You said you wouldn't do anything!"  
"It was just a kiss."

Oops. Was I his first?

Soubi's fingertips slowy glided down Ritsuka's arm and circled his wrist just before he took his hand into his own. His eyes were intense, capturing Ritsuka.

"Together, you and I will be connected in a way so deep... So strong..." He brought Ritsuka's hand to his lips and planted small kisses on each finger, watching as he held on to each word. "We will become inseparable. Give me your strength, Ritsuka. Show me your power."

There was a ringing in Soubi's ears.  
They're here.

"Do you mean... Sex?"  
"I can't get excited for a child, Ritsuka."

There are Fighter Units here... But Ritsuka's not ready.

"I love you, Ritsuka."  
"What?!"  
"I love you. I'll do anything for you, Ritsuka. Anything you ask. I'll give you everything. All of me. My body. My heart. My soul. Everything. Even my life. Let me fight for you, Ritsuka."

Soubi... What are you saying? Why? It's all so confusing.

"Hey! Loveless!"

Two kids, about Ritsuka's age, approached Ritsuka. A boy and a girl.

"L-Loveless? Who..."  
"Midori! Look!" The girl cried out.  
"It can't be... You're still alive? Impossible!"

Soubi removed the bandages from his neck, revealing his name.

"Soubi..." Ritsuka looked repulsed. "What were you to Seimei?"  
"I am Beloved's Fighter, and now I am yours, Ritsuka."  
"No!" The girl stepped forward. "You can't serve two masters! You should have died. Beloved should be dead now! You can't serve Loveless!"  
"Ai! Calm down."

Loveless? Is she talking about me? I don't understand any of this. What is Soubi involved in? Did he do something bad? What does Seimei have to do with all of this?

"I'll explain it to you later, Ritsuka. Don't worry. I know what I'm doing."  
"Midori, let me fight him. We can't let this monster go on living!"  
" **I declare a battle by wordspell.** " Soubi switched into his fighting mode.  
" **I accept.** " Ai clenched her fists.  
" **Fighter systems... Engage!** "  
"I will battle alone. It's two against one." Soubi pulled Ritsuka close to his chest and whispered "This will be over soon enough. Close your eyes, Ritsuka."

Midori and Ai joined hands with each other and spoke " **Breathless. An intensity that will take your breath away.** "  
"Let's go! _**Rip! Tear apart! Separate the monster and his prey!**_ "

Ritsuka shut his eyes as tightly as possible and buried his face in the fur on Soubi's coat.  
Why is this happening? Why are they fighting? Is Soubi some kind of bad guy?  
Are they fighting? How can they battle with words alone?

" _ **Automatic mode, on.**_ "  
"Automatic! Are you mocking us? Loveless! Fight us! _**Destroy!**_ "  
"Don't listen to her, Ritsuka. _**Defense. None of your attacks can touch me.**_ "  
"Attack us! Are you afraid?"  
" _ **Do you really want that?Midori will take all of the damage if I attack you."**_  
"Don't worry about me, Ai. It's natural I take the damage."  
" _ **Of course it's natural. Ai is too weak to protect Midori. She isn't good enough for him and he will surely be destroyed.**_ "  
"Don't get worked up, Ai! He's manipulating you! Destroy him!"  
" _ **Retreat. Off to a place where you can sleep...**_ "  
"What's happening! Midori!"

Soubi picked Ritsuka up, and began to carry him away as the pair named Breathless began to disappear without a trace.

"Where did they go? How did you do that?"  
"I sent them home. I declared the battle, so I couldn't retreat. I had to make them retreat instead. It's the rules."  
"D-did you hurt them?"  
"Only their pride. Ritsuka... I love you."  
"...Put me down..."  
"Let me hold you just a little longer."

Ritsuka rested his head on Soubi's shoulder, breathing in his intoxicating smell.  
I feel like maybe I could stay here forever... But that would be a weird thing to say.

"Well, see ya."

And before Ritsuka could even blink, Soubi was gone.

**Ritsuka's Room**

Soubi... He never explained what was going on. I still don't know if I should be afraid or not... He said he wouldn't do anything, but then he kissed me. He seems like a dirty liar. And then he just vanishes...  
Everything he says is strange. How can a man make me feel so... So...  
Why am I even thinking about him right now?

Ritsuka shifted to his other side in bed. Soubi's face was firmly planted in his mind and he could still hear that deep, calm voice. It was almost soothing to remember.

This is embarrassing...

**Soubi's Room**

Ritsuka is an adorable kid. He's different than I had expected... Not at all like Seimei. Can he handle it?  
Soubi read the note in his hand for what felt like the thousandth time.

" _Soubi,_  
 _If you are reading this, it has happened. Now that I am gone, I'm giving you to my younger brother, Ritsuka._  
 _This is an order, Soubi. Obey his every demand (within reason. You know the rules... Do not speak of what shall not be spoken and do not do what must not be done.) He will be your new master._

 _Love him. Fight for him. Be controlled by him, but remember... My word will forever be absolute._ "

**Ritsuka's Room**

_Tap tap tap_

Just as Ritsuka was drifting to sleep, a knock at his window brought him back to reality. He turned to see a bright, smiling Soubi walking toward his bed.

"Soubi! This is the second floor... How did you even get up here? And who said you could come in?"  
"It was unlocked. I didn't think you would mind."  
"That's creepy. You don't just invite yourself into people's houses! Oh... But since you're here..."

He went to pick up an envelope from his desk and smiled as he handed them to Soubi.

"50 pictures! I was going to give them to you the next time I saw you."  
"Thank you, Ritsuka. This makes me very happy. I'll cherish them."  
"So, what are you doing here so late?"  
"I still owe you an explanation, don't I? I'll tell you what you want to know. You have questions, right?"  
"I don't even know where to start...Why were you and that couple fighting? Why were they calling me that name?"  
"Loveless. That is your real name, Ritsuka."  
"What a terrible name... Who decided that?"  
"I'd like to know as well... Our names are decided before we were even born."  
"And that couple..."  
"Breathless. We fight in pairs. I am the Fighter, you are the Sacrifice."  
"Sacrifice?"  
"Like Midori. And like Ai, it is my job to protect you at all costs."  
"Protect me from what? Were those two trying to kill me?"  
"No, just take you. I don't expect that will be their last attempt, either. In a battle, the Fighter uses spells to disable the opponent's Sacrifice... As the Sacrifice, you will take all of the damage. Once the Sacrifice is destroyed, you lose. It's very painful, but it can not be changed."

Ritsuka tried to speak, but he couldn't find the words.  
This is insane. Fighter? Sacrifice?

"Seimei..."  
"He was my Sacrifice..."  
"What happens to you when the Sacrifice dies?"  
"The Fighter is supposed to die when his Sacrifice does."  
"Why are you here then?"  
"Have you read his will?"

Seimei's will?  
Ritsuka looked to the old computer questioningly.  
Could it be in here? It hasn't been on since Seimei's death...  
Ritsuka turned the computer on and waited.

"How long have you known me?"  
"I knew Seimei had a younger brother, but today was my first time meeting you."  
"There's a file that has my name on it... Maybe that's it? What? It's locked..."

B-e-l-o-v-e-d

"That's not it..."

R-i-t-s-u-k-a

Wrong.

S-e-i-m-e-i

Nope. Maybe...

L-o-v-e-l-e-s-s

"It opened!"

Soubi watched Ritsuka carefully as he looked through the contents of the folder. His expression changed almost instantly.

"Seimei was murdered?! Soubi... Is this true?"

Soubi nodded in response.

"Septimal Moon... 'I have left you my Fighter Unit'... Soubi! Did you come here because Seimei told you to?"  
"Yes."  
"You said you loved me... Is it because Seimei told you? Seimei told you to love me?"  
"Yes."

Soubi... He doesn't even sound sorry.

"Seimei's word is absolute. And now I listen to Ritsuka's commands. Those were my orders."  
"You can't love someone because you were ordered to!"  
"Of course I can. I love you, Ritsuka.  
"Stop it! Just shut up!"

He's just a puppet . Being controlled by someone else... No one can think for themselves...  
We are all just users and the ones being used. This is sick!

"Command me, Ritsuka. I am yours to control."  
"Get out!"  
"Is that an order?"  
"Go! Now!"

Soubi left through the window, leaving Ritsuka in tears.

I thought maybe this could have been real... That I... I actually had something... Someone of my own.  
But it was all a lie. Soubi didn't come here for me... He came here for Seimei. Every word he says. They all belong to Seimei.  
Nothing belongs to me!

Ritsuka's fist hit the desk, causing his copy of the photos to fall to the ground, scattering everywhere.  
He leaned to pick them up, remembering the happiness he had felt... Looking at the beautiful man he had for only a few seconds.

"Command me, Ritsuka." "I am yours to control."

I refuse...  
I don't ever want to see him again.

**The next morning**

Soubi stood outside Ritsuka's house, hiding, as he watched him leave for school.  
He still seemed upset from the night before.

Ritsuka gets upset so easily... He's quite sensitive. Still, it's a little ridiculous to cry over something neither of us can change. He doesn't understand I am the only one who can fight for him. He'll need me whether he likes it or not.

Soubi walked a good distance behind Ritsuka, careful not to be seen.

I never noticed how cute his tail is... So long. And his little ears. I just want to bite them.  
Oh? Who's that girl he's talking to? Heh... She likes him. He seems oblivious to it, though. Silly, young Ritsuka. I have to remember this is a child I'm dealing with. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on him.

Hours passed and Ritsuka finally left school, but didn't return home.

Where is he going now?

Soubi followed him to the therapist and again waited patiently outside, unseen.  
I guess I could have been more sensitive... But then, I didn't say anything that wasn't true.  
I should see him again... Will he let me?

_Ring, ring._

"Sou-chan!"  
"Kio... This isn't a good time."  
"Huh?! Why not?...Oooh, did I interrupt something?"  
"Yes, actually."  
"You know, Sou-chan, you don't have to do it by yourself... I'd be MORE than happy to come over. You just say the word! I am quite skilled."  
"Goodbye."  
"Sou-chan!"

**Kio**

He hung up on me! And here I was getting excited...  
I can be _very_ patient, Sou-chan. You'll need me soon enough hehe... And when you do, I'll give you the best-... What's this?  
Why does Soubi have pictures of him and a little boy... He still has his ears!  
No... Don't tell me. Sou-chan is a pervert!

Gotta call him. Gotta call him. Pick up the phone Soubi! You sick pervert! Don't reject my call! Jerk!

"The person you are calling is unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message."  
"SOUBI!"

**Soubi**

Why does he keep calling me... He's going to get me caught. Better turn my phone off. Oh! Ritsuka's on the move again!  
Kio! You almost made me lose my target. That man... Probably caught up in something perverted. I'm far too busy to deal with him right now.

Ritsuka has gotten so far away... I might need a pair of binoculars...

**Outside of Ritsuka's Window**

That was close... If he had gone anywhere else, I would have lost him.

"Mother! Please stop!"

What's this? I can't see... His curtains are closed. Sounds like it's coming from the first floor.

Soubi jumped down and ran to the nearest window. Ritsuka's mother had a fork in her hand and Ritsuka was on the ground bleeding.

Ritsuka!

"Get out of my sight! You're not my Ritsuka!"

He heard someone run up the stairs...  
Soubi climbed back up to Ritsuka's window and heard him crying.  
Crying...

"Stop crying, you stupid child."  
"Why won't my mommy and daddy wake up?"  
"They're dead. Don't you get that? Come on."

A tall man walked in front of a young, maybe six year old Soubi, yelling at him along the way.

"You're still crying? What a pathetic child."  
"I want my mommy and daddy!"  
"You can forget about them. You're never going to see them again."

Ritsuka...  
The lights in Ritsuka's room were out and the crying seemed to have stopped.  
Soubi let himself into his room and sat at the edge of the bed where Ritsuka slept.  
He brushed the out out of his face and wiped away the remaining tears.

Oh Ritsuka... You can't sleep in those clothes...

Soubi slipped Ritsuka's shirt off of his head and then pulled down his jeans before finding pajamas to change him into.  
That skin... So delicate and fragile. Hmm...  
He kissed Ritsuka's stomach gently and dressed him, finally covering him with a blanket.

I should go to my own house now... But maybe I can stay and watch you sleep just a bit longer.

Maybe this won't be so bad after all...


	5. Chapter 5

I don't want to wake up...  
If I open my eyes, I'll have to deal with everything that has happened. I'll have to face him and it will all become real again.  
Or worse... I'll open my eyes to find it was all a dream...

**School**

"Ritsuka-kun! Wait! Yuiko wants to talk!"

Please go away... I don't have the patience for this today.

"Please, Ritsuka-kun... Yuiko is sorry. Yuiko wants to talk, but not because anyone else said to... Yuiko decided by... Are you okay? You don't look well..."  
"I'm fine."

It's none of your business.

"Ritsuka-kun should see the nurse. Yuiko is worried."  
"I told you I'm fine! I thought I made it clear... Just leave me alone."

"What are you two doing standing around? Class is about to start!"  
"Ah, sorry Shinonome-sensei. Yuiko and I were just talking."

Yuiko stood silently as Ritsuka hurried past her to get to class.

"Yuiko-chan... Is everything okay?"  
"Sensei... Is something wrong with Yuiko? Is Yuiko not good enough?"  
"Yuiko, you're are a wonderful person. What are you talking about?"

Tears were building in Yuiko's eyes, but they were nothing compared to what was happening in her heart.

"Ritsuka-kun doesn't like Yuiko."  
"What? Of course he does. You are friends."  
"He doesn't talk to Yuiko the way Yuiko talks to him... He's always so cold. Still... Yuiko likes Ritsuka-kun.  
...But Ritsuka-kun will never like Yuiko."

* * *

Another long day...  
Soubi is probably waiting for me again. It's so creepy. Doesn't he think it is strange for an adult to wait outside of a school building like that?  
I'm not ready to see him. I'll tell him to leave me alone and to never come back. I don't want to be involved with him.

"Soubi, listen... Soubi?"

Where is he?  
That creep! He's at my house!  
Uhg... What if mom finds him?

Ritsuka ignored the strange looks as he ran down the street to his home.

You idiot... You can't just come into someone's home like this...

"Ritsuka!"  
"Sorry, mother, I'm busy."

He raced up the stairs and swung his door open, quick to lock it behind him.

"Soubi!...What do you think you're... What?"

He's not here. Why isn't he here?

"Ritsuka! Ritsuka, why is your door locked? Ritsuka!"  
"Not now, mother..."  
"Ritsuka! This isn't like you! Please open the door!"  
"Please... Leave me alone..."  
"Ritsuka!"

Alone... Leave me... I'm alone?

Seimei...  
Was I really dreaming? I didn't see him at all yesterday.  
No. There's no way that was a dream. So where is he?  
Surely I'll see him today... Right?  
Wait...  
Why do I care? I don't. I don't care. I don't want to see him.  
It's good that he's keeping his distance. I guess I got my point across.  
I guess I... I pushed him away. And he understood. I got what I wanted..

**Therapy**

"Ritsuka-kun. You look tired."  
"I didn't get much sleep last night."  
"Still dealing with the insomnia, I see... Is something on your mind?"  
"No... Nothing."

I can't tell her. She's my therapist, but I just can't.  
I can't tell anyone.  
How could I explain something even I don't understand?

Every word he says draws me in closer, caressing my heart like silk, manipulating my mind. And I fly like a butterfly into the trap. Caught by the wings.

"Ritsuka... You need to get some rest. I'll see you again next session."  
"Goodbye, sensei."

**Home**

Nothing.  
Days are passing me by, and I am questioning all that I know.

Seimei...  
What is this feeling? I feel so empty. So alone. And I am afraid.  
How does he do this to me? I can't stand to be around him. His words pierce my heart like a beautiful blade, and though the blade is buried deep within my chest, I only want to deepen the wound. I want to lean closer and feel it all.  
I can't stand to be without him. I thought I knew lonliness when you left me, but now I see I was clueless. This isn't like anything I know... Like I knew... It hurts so much worse.  
And it's suffocating.

Soubi... I know you exist. I know you weren't just a dream.  
I said I didn't want to see you again, but I do. I need to. Please be okay.  
Please come back to me.

I haven't slept since he disappeared... Though I know it may be the only way I'll ever see him again...

**School**

"Ritsuka-kun... Yuiko is sorry to disturb you... But Yuiko is really scared. Ritsuka-kun looks very sick."  
"I'm okay, Yuiko... I just haven't been sleeping well."  
"Is something on your mind? Yuiko wants to help Ritsuka-kun feel better..."  
"I'm sorry. Please just let me deal with it on my own. You don't need to worry about me."

Yuiko whispered softly, so softly Ritsuka could not hear... "But Yuiko does worry..."

Is it really that obvious?... Or has she just become really observant?

**After Class**

"Yuiko-chan... Is everything okay?"  
"Sensei... Can we talk?"  
"Of course."  
"Ritsuka-kun isn't okay. Yuiko has been watching him get worse each day and there is nothing Yuiko can do to stop it. Yuiko is worthless to Ritsuka-kun..."  
"Please stop saying such negative things about yourself. This isn't like you. The Yuiko I know is always so happy and energetic."  
"Yuiko can't be happy if Ritsuka-kun isn't... Yuiko would give her life to make Ritsuka-kun's problems go away..."

* * *

How many days has it been?  
I've lost count...  
I'm so tired. I don't know anymore.

"Ritsuka..."

Everything stopped.

I felt those eyes on me... And every part of me was exposed.  
Every wound simultaneously ripped apart and healed again...  
The previous days all flashed before me and before I could comprehend any of it, I found myself in his arms. His strong, welcoming arms.

Soubi stood embracing the thin, pale boy that was now nearly unrecognisable. He traced his thumb along the dark bags beneath Ritsuka's eyes, unable to disguise his concern.

"Ritsuka... Are you okay?"

"Soubi! Where were you!?"  
It all came out in a scream. I didn't care who heard. Only one thing mattered in that moment... You.  
"How could you... Why... Where..."  
"Shit! Ritsuka!"

The world faded away into nothingness.

* * *

Ritsuka's eyes slowly fluttered open...

Where am I? This isn't my home...

"Soubi..." His heart skipped a beat as he realised he wasn't there. "Soubi!"  
"Ritsuka!"

Soubi ran to his side, grabbing his hand immediately.

"Ritsuka... Are you okay? You fainted."

"Soubi..."  
He couldn't fight any longer... Every ounce of stress... Of fear and concern and lonliness... It all came pouring out.  
"Ritsuka... What happened to you?"  
"You... You disappeared w-without a word... Do you know how worried I was? I didn't know if you were okay... You could have been... You could have... I didn't know if you were even alive!"  
"I'm here now, Ritsuka... Please don't cry."  
"I...I'm not... Crying!"  
Soubi held him so close... So tightly... As if he would never have the chance to hold him again. Ritsuka buried his face into his chest, trying to stop the tears.

Ritsuka really missed me... I am the reason he is like this. The reason he looks like he has been through hell. How? I didn't mean to hurt him.

Ritsuka composed himself.

"Where were you?"  
"I'm sorry... I was busy with homework."  
"Homework?"

Ritsuka looked up to Soubi, now more curious than ever.

"I'm a college student."  
"College?! You?"  
"I'm studying art."  
"Wow! Art?! That's so cool! I can't even draw!"

Someone's feeling better... It's kinda cute. Almost can't tell he was crying just a minute ago.

"I can paint for you sometime, if you like."  
"You'd do that for me? Really?"  
"Sure. Anything for Ritsuka."

Soubi pulled Ritsuka back to him, becoming more serious again.

"I missed you, too, you know."  
"Please... Don't ever do that again."  
"Wait here for a moment..."

Ritsuka finally took a good look around.  
This must be where Soubi lives... That means.. He blushed. This is his bed...  
He pulled the blanket over his head in embarasment.  
So comfy...  
He rolled around, smiling uncontrollably, imagining a cute Soubi sleeping in the same spot he was in.

"Having fun?"  
"Eek! I was... Uhm..."  
"You like my bed?"  
"So it IS your bed..."

Soubi laughed... a sweet, adorable laugh. He interupted Ritsuka's little trance once more and laid beside him.

"I'd love it if you were in my bed more often."  
"Pervert!"

Ritsuka tried to run away, but Soubi wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back, nuzzling his ears.

"So... I have something for you."  
He took a phone out of his pocket and placed it in Ritsuka's hand.  
"My number is first on speed dial. Call me any time."  
"I... I can't take this, Soubi."  
"Why not? Call me if you get lonely. You won't have to worry because you'll always have a way to contact me."  
"Thank you... This is... I appreciate this. It's really late. I need to get home."  
"Why don't you stay here?"  
"Mother will be worried."  
"Just tonight, okay?"  
"Goodnight, Soubi... I'll call you tomorrow."  
"At least let me take you home... You won't know how to get back from here."

**School**

_Chirp, chirp._  
"Oooh. The birds are so pretty and talkative today! Hi birdies!"

"Hey, Yuiko. I need to talk to you."  
"Really?!"  
"Do you still want to be friends?"  
"Y-yes!"  
"Don't shout... I'll be your friend, but only if you agree to something."  
"Anything!"  
"Don't agree so easily... What's with you people? Saying you'll do anything... You don't even know what it is."  
"Yuiko will gladly do whatever Ritsuka wants."

Ritsuka sighed.

"Then stop referring to yourself as 'Yuiko'. Just say 'I', okay?"  
"I?"  
"Yes, I."  
"Yui... I can do that."  
"Then Yuiko, will you be my friend?"  
"Yes! Yu-... I will!"  
"Oh, and it wouldn't hurt you to read a book ocassionally, too..."  
"Eh?!"  
"I would like you better if you read more."  
"Really?! I can read! I'll read lots!Yeah!"

She gets overly excited... But I'm glad she's willing to start reading. Maybe this friendship will be beneficial to her.

This could be the start of something good. I guess not everyone is terrible, Seimei.


	6. Chapter 6

"Soubi..."  
A soft, seductive whisper filled Soubi's ears, easing him out of his slumber.  
"Wake up, Soubi. You've been asleep too long. I miss you so much."  
Slowly, the light filled his eyes. He blinked a few times, soon to find Ritsuka hovering over him, wearing only an old shirt from Soubi's closet. Half buttoned, the white linen hung from his slender shoulders. He climbed onto Soubi, his soft, bare legs folded beside him, and purred into his ear.  
Soubi felt the tickle of Ritsuka's hair as moist lips met his body, exploring.

"Ritsuka..."  
Soubi's body grew hot; his pulse quickened.  
"Don't ever leave me again, Soubi. I get so lonely when you aren't around."  
Teasing fingers found their way to Soubi's thigh.  
"You don't want me to be lonely, do you? Promise me that you won't ever do that to me again."  
"I promise..."  
His breathing deepened as Ritsuka worked his way down his chest and up his thigh.  
"Say the words. I want to hear you say it."  
He felt every word against his torso.  
"I promise I'll never leave you again."

Soubi's eyes shot open. His body was numb.

"Ritsuka.."

He laid frozen, staring at the empty space next to him in bed. The ticking of the clock was all he had to break the silence.

A dream...  
But it felt so real.

I grow so tired of waking up alone. Being alone...  
Ritsuka... I wish you were here. You belong in my arms.

He grabbed his phone, prepared to write Ritsuka, but realised he already had a message.

**Rit** : Goodnight, Soubi... Chu~

Soubi's face lit up with a gentle smile.

Chu? Like a little mouse squeaking.

**Ritsuka's House**

_Ping_!

**Sou** : I love you, Ritsuka.

What?! That man... Always saying such..strange.. things.

Ritsuka's tail swished nervously as he stared at the screen of his phone.

**Soubi's house**

_Ping_!

Ah! Ritsuka replied already?

**Rit** : You should be asleep!

It's two in the morning... I could say the same to you. I hope his mother isn't keeping him awake.

**Sou** : Should I? You're the one with school in the morning.

**Rit** : I couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?

**Sou** : I was asleep, but a very interesting dream woke me up.

Soubi felt his face burning bright red at the memory.  
How unusual for me to blush.

**Rit** : A dream? What was it about?

**Sou** : How strange... I can't seem to remember.

I can't tell Ritsuka about that... He would be angry with me.  
Soubi laughed lightly.

**Sou** : Try to sleep. Goodnight, Ritsuka.

**Art studio**

"Sou-chaaaan! Guess what!"

Kio pulled his hair back and waited excitedly.

"What am I looking at, Kio?"  
"I got some new earrings! See! I now have 7 on each ear."  
"Oh..." Soubi was fascinated. "Those are nice, Kio."  
"Really? You're interested? I can give you one if you want! Come on, let me pierce those cute virgin ears of yours!"  
"Do you use a needle?"  
"Ow! No! You want to have control. Piercing guns are way better! Quick and easy."  
"So easy a child could do it?"  
"Yup!... Wait a second... No! No no no! You can't be considering... Uhg! You are not making that poor virgin boy do that to you! You sick pervert!"  
"Kio... I'm not a pervert."  
"Who is this kid, anyway? He's pretty for a boy."  
"His name is Ritsuka Aoyagi."  
"What?! No... Not another Aoyagi... I take what I said about him being cute back. You can't do this Soubi! Just when you were freed from... HIM!"  
"This is none of your concern."  
"Is it his kid?"  
"Nonsense... Seimei still had his ears. Ritsuka is his little brother."  
"I don't like him."  
"You don't know him."  
"If you want to be brutalised, I can do it. I'll do it until you can't even stand anymore if that's what you want."  
"Stop making me sound like a pervert."  
"What else can I call you?! If my descriptions of you make you sound like a pervert, that must mean you are one! You want to be dominated by a little boy! It isn't right, Soubi. I could treat you way better than that brat ever could!"  
"It's Seimei's orders."  
"Seimei is dead! He can't control you anymore, Sou."  
"I wouldn't expect you to understand."

Kio fell to the floor in front of Soubi. His eyes were no longer joyful. Instead, they were strict and haunted.

"I'm scared, Soubi... I'm really, really scared. I hate Seimei. I'll say it. I'm glad he's dead. Got what he deserved if you ask me..."  
"That's enough, Kio..."  
"What he did to you was wrong. You know it was."  
"Kio..."  
"I've seen the scars. Call it 'discipline' if you want... But you're only human. Why do you always get involved with all the wrong people?"

Silence...

"I never want to see you like that again... It kills me inside knowing how you've been treated. Do you think so little of yourself that you actually think you deserve it?"  
"Ritsuka isn't like that..."  
"If he makes you happy, fine. I guess I can't change your mind."  
"I will be okay. Really, I will. Please don't worry about me."

Soubi...  
I hope you're right. If that boy doesn't work out... If he hurts you... I will have to step in this time. I can't watch you go through that again. I'll show you what a real man is like and I'll give you everything you deserve.  
If only I had the courage to say this...

I don't think I've seen Kio this serious before.  
He doesn't understand. Ritsuka  _is_  different. He couldn't hurt a fly.  
This is none of his business... Even so, he worries so much for me.  
As long as he is here, I will never be alone.  
I'm glad Kio is in my life.

"Hey, Kio."  
"Yes?"  
"Thank you."

**Ritsuka's House**

Septimal Moon...  
All I have is the name.  
What is it? Who is it? And how is Seimei involved?  
Surely there is something Seimei left behind that could help me.  
...Soubi... He has to know something.

Ritsuka held his phone tightly in his hand, staring at a black screen.

Soubi...

"Staring at it won't do either of us any good."  
"Soubi!"  
"Miss me?"  
"That's not the front door, you know."  
"Do you really want me using the door with your mother downstairs?"  
"...I guess not... But you could have told me you were coming. What are you doing here anyway? It's raining... You'll catch a cold."  
"I wanted to see you. I have a request."

Soubi pulled his hair back and guided Ritsuka's finger tips to his ear.

"I want you to make me yours, Ritsuka."  
"What do you.."  
"I want you to pierce it."  
"What?! I can't do that!"  
"Why not? It would make me very happy."  
"Won't it hurt you? That's flesh!"  
"The pain is only temporary, but the memory is eternal. Every time I see it, I will be reminded of you. I will remember the bond we have formed."

Like making memories... But in the flesh.

"Please?"  
"I don't know how..."  
"I brought a piercing gun. You can do it."

Soubi pulled Ritsuka into his lap and placed the piercing gun in his hand.

"Claim me, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka positioned himself between Soubi's legs.  
Those long, slender legs...

He took another look into his eyes, reading his expression.

"Are you sure?"

Soubi steadied Ritsuka's trembling fingers and nodded.

"Don't be nervous. Take control. If you do it too lightly, and if it doesn't penetrate completely, it will only hurt more."  
"...I don't think you'd mind the pain too much..."  
"There are worse things in this world than a piercing..."

_Snap_!

"D-did it hurt?"  
"You did well... Now the other. Don't hesitate."

_Snap_!

I can't believe I just did that...

Ritsuka dropped the gun and leaned into Soubi, his body shaking.  
Soubi felt his ears and smiled before swiftly kissing Ritsuka.

"Thank you. I love them."

Ritsuka hesitated to meet his eyes... Unease was prevalent in his stature.

"You know, I meant it earlier... When I said I love you."  
Soubi's voice was barely a whisper, but Ritsuka heard the words clearly.  
In the few seconds it took to comprehend, Ritsuka was grasping Soubi's face... Their lips only a breath apart.  
His eyes stared into him, and for the first time with Ritsuka, he felt exposed.  
His mind, body, and soul were on display for those eyes that desired so much.

I noticed it the day I met you, Ritsuka.  
Those sweet, gentle eyes... So full of need... So full of want.

"What is it you seek, Ritsuka? Say the words and I will give it to you."

That's a dangerous expression you wear... Someone will try to take you from me  
if you always have that look in your eyes.

"I seek answers."

Soubi tensed.

"What are the questions?"  
"What is Septimal Moon? Why did they kill my brother?"

Soubi sighed, looking away to hide his pained expression.

"I'm sorry... I can't answer that question."  
"Why not?"  
"I just can't."  
"Before... You said you would do anything for me. You just said you would give it to me...  
I'm not asking you to do anything impossible."  
"You are, Ritsuka, and I need you to understand that. Anything but that, please, and I will do it."  
"Why can't you tell me? Did Seimei tell you not to tell me?"  
"I can't answer that. Punish me if you are unhappy with me."

Ritsuka stood, backing away from him.

"Ritsuka..."  
"Is there any truth in anything you say?"  
"I wouldn't lie to you."  
"But you have! You are... Everything you say is a lie."  
"I love you, Ritsuka..."  
"No! I don't believe you. You're a liar and nothing you say can be trusted... Just get out!"

Soubi walked to the window, slipping his feet back into his shoes. He glanced back, but Ritsuka wasn't changing his mind.

I wish you could understand... I just can't tell you.

"I'll pick you up from school tomorrow... Goodbye, Ritsuka."

He climbed down from Ritsuka's window, feeling out of place. It's a rough world.

"Wait!"  
That voice halted him. His heart leaped.

Ritsuka tossed an umbrella down to Soubi.

"Don't catch a cold... Try following that order."

**School**

I don't understand.  
All I want is to know why Seimei was murdered.  
Who would want to kill him? I don't think anyone disliked him. How could they?  
Seimei was the best person in the world... He was kind to everyone.  
To burn him alive... What did Septimal Moon have against him?

"Aoyagi-kun!"  
"Ah! Sensei..."  
"Is my teaching so boring that you have to to daydream just to get through it?"  
"I'm sorry, sensei..."

Shinonome immediately regretted her decision to approach Ritsuka.  
She realised something heavy was weighing on his mind.

"Please, try to stay focused."

Yuiko leaned toward Ritsuka's desk once Shinonome had returned to teaching.  
"Ritsuka-kun... Did you not sleep well again?"  
"Yeah... I'm not feeling very well."  
"Maybe you should go to the nurse."  
"That may be a good idea."  
"I'll let you have my notes later so you don't miss out."  
"Thank you. I appreciate that."

**Nurses Office**

"You can stay here and rest. I'll check on you in half an hour."  
"Thank you."

Yuiko was right... This is just what I needed.  
But I can't go to the nurse every time I have a sleepless night.

I miss Soubi.

**After School**

"Ritsuka-kun! Are you feeling any better?"  
"Much. I just needed a little rest."  
"Here are those notes I promised. Shinonome-sensei stopped me to ask about you.  
I didn't tell her you haven't been sleeping well."  
"Thank you. I don't want her to have to worry about me. These are good notes. They will be very helpful. Your note taking skills have improved a lot."  
"You think so? Oh! I finished that book you lent me."  
"What did you think?"  
"It had a lot of big words... But I liked it a lot!"  
"I'm glad. I should get going. Thanks again for your help."  
"See you tomorrow!"

Ritsuka hurried to the school gates.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting... Soubi?"

Not again... The last time this happened, you disappeared for a week.  
No messages... Maybe he's just behind.

**Rit** : I'm waiting at the gate for you.

Time ticked by without a reply.  
Ritsuka was growing anxious...He dialed Soubi's number, but was redirected to voice mail.

He didn't answer... You said you'd always answer.

Again. No reply. Again. No matter how many times he called, Soubi didn't reply.

What are you doing? Why aren't you answering?

...What did I expect? I should have known.

**Soubi**

"Soubi. We've heard a lot about you."

Before Soubi stood two unfamiliar faces wearing wicked smiles.

"Isn't that right, Natsuo?"  
"Yeah, lots. We've been dying to meet you. Looks like he's alone."  
"Where's Loveless?"

"He's not here right now."

"Did you hear that, Youji? Loveless isn't here. I never would have guessed that one."

Laughter filled the air.

The one known as Youji stepped forward, his waist-length green hair flowing behind him.

"I'll ask again... Where is Loveless?"  
"I'm not sure where he is. School is over for today."

The other, with reddish-purple hair, joined Youji and tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"I don't have time for this. I promised Ritsuka I'd pick him up and now I'm late."  
I'm glad he isn't here, though. These two look feisty.

"You really want to do this without your sacrifice?" Natsuo became irritated. "You're already fighting against your name. Your power is halved."  
Youji joined in. "And now you want to fight alone. Halved again."  
"You're underestimating us, old man."

"Are you two going to stand there and talk all day or are we going to get this over with?"

"Youji! He said something annoying."  
"Don't regret it later. We are zero."

Zero?! These kids?

" **Domain systems on. We declare battle**."  
" **Systems on. I accept**."

"One last chance... Call Loveless."  
"Even given the situation, the predicament I am in, I will destroy you, Zeroes."  
"You're really pissing me off!"

" **Our name is Zero. We are the beginning and the end. We are everything. And nothing**."

Only seconds into the battle, Soubi was restrained by the wrist.

" **Release!** "  
" **Condense!** "

They're fast...

" **Release. These bonds can not contain me**."  
" **Conceal. Solidify internally. You can not escape**."

There was a tinge of pain in Soubi's arm.

"The great Soubi. Not phased at all. I heard your pain tolerance is pretty high."  
"Let's see just how much you can endure."

" **I can endure everything you do. You are no match for me**. **I must only grit my teeth.** "

"What? He's using a self-hypnosis spell."  
"Self-hypnosis? A power-up spell?"

" **I am** **Invincible**."

" **Infinite bombs explode upon your skin and little red flowers bloom in their place**."

"How nice. Your spells are adorable."

"You say that now, but I can see your pain.  **Burst**!"  
"Good one, Natsuo. Come on Soubi... Does it hurt. I know it does. Stop being boring and let it show."  
"This is nothing. I've known far more stimulating pain."  
"Pervert..."  
"Talking like that, I might mistake you for Ritsuka. You're not cute enough, though."  
"Natsuo, I think he needs a few more flowers. I want a garden."

The pain jolted through Soubi's body, but he remained still.

" **Your words slice through my skin, cold as ice, but they are useless**."

Ice...

* * *

"Soubi...Zeroes are a special breed... Artificial beings created in a lab. They are no match for you."  
"Ritsu-sensei... What's so special about Zeroes?"  
"They have no way of sensing pain. Physical attacks don't effect them. Don't be fooled, though.  
Their best feature is actually their biggest weakness. Without pain, they won't know when to stop. Without that sense of caution, you, Soubi, can destroy them."

* * *

I hate to remember your words... But it would seem they were rather helpful this time.

" **Droplets turn to snow and ice prevail. Treat these Zeroes to the absolute**."

"Ooh, look Youji. It's snowing."  
"So pretty. Really, so  _adorable_ , Soubi."

"Being Zero, you can't experience pain, nor do your capillaries contract in the cold. You see there was a shift in temperature, but you have no way of feeling it."

"Look who's been doing his homework. You left out the fact that we can feel touch, though."  
"Natsuo, I don't like that smile on his face. Wipe it away."  
" **Break apart**!"  
"Ngh!"

Soubi fell to his knees, the pain becoming too much to bear.

"Yes! I like that look! Make that face for me again!  **Rip**!"  
"No fair! Why do you get to have all the fun, Natsuo? I wanna play too!"

Youji skipped excitedly toward Soubi, shocking him.  
He stepped on his hand, twisting his foot into his skin against the ice.

It isn't working... They are still moving.. I'll have to try again.

"Freezing wind!"

"That again? You're boring me!"

**Ritsuka**

Pictures of Soubi laid scattered on the desk beside an open cellphone.

I've sent him messages and I've called him every hour, but he hasn't answered a single one...  
It's getting late, too.  
There has to be a reasonable explanation... Right?  
I can't do this anymore.  
I can't just sit around and wait for him to call.  
I have to find him. But where do I even start?

**Soubi**

"What pretty butterfly earrings you have, Soubi. You like things piercing into you?  
I have the perfect thing for you, then!" Youji reached into his pocket and pulled out a nail.  
Natsuo smiled and gave him a small hammer.  
"Isn't it nice? Oooh I can just imagine the look on your face."  
"Yes, yes! When the nail dives into his hand, slicing everything in it's path. Sounds painful, doesn't it Soubi?"  
"This isn't fair..."  
"Fair? I should give you two nails for that one... What have you found in this lifetime that was 'fair'?"

Youji angrily stabbed the nail into Soubi's hand and brought the hammer down soon after.

"Gah!" Soubi winced.  
"Was that 'fair' Natsuo?"  
"I should think so. Look at him. You look like you could cry. Does it hurt? You're bleeding a lot."  
"Call Ritsuka. I would hate for him to miss out on this. His big, 'strong' fighter reduced to this. How embarrassing."  
"I bet he wouldn't wanna look at you again. He'd be so ashamed."  
"You two are pathetic. You know your spells are too weak to do any real damage, so you have to take advantage in other ways. Maybe you should be the ones who are embarrassed."  
"He's saying annoying things again, Youji."  
"I bet a nail in a more sensitive place would shut him right up. Maybe then he'd call Ritsuka."  
"I couldn't... Even if I wanted to."  
"No... Youji... Maybe they aren't connected."  
"Ha! That's ridiculous! How pathetic can these two get?"  
"Thanks, Soubi, I needed a good laugh!"  
"Oh, that's just too much. If I could feel pain, I'd probably hurt from all this laughing!"

"Why do you do this?"  
"Why? It's fun. And you're just too cute to not be dressed in red."

This has gone on too long... Ritsuka is going to be angry with me... I can't think of that right now. I must end this. But my hand. It hurts more than I'd like to admit.  
Ritsuka... Forgive me.  
I'll be there soon.

**Ritsuka**

A butterfly flew past Ritsuka's ear, bringing him to a stop.

That was... Strange.  
I feel like... Soubi needs me...  
I thought I heard his voice just now.

What is this feeling?  
Is he in trouble?  
I'm here for you, Soubi... I'll find you. Please just be okay when I do.

**Soubi**

"Game's over. You lose. **Wind of absolute zero. Steal their heat. You have nowhere to hide.** "  
"N..Natsuo. I can't move."  
"Neither can I..."

"You are the beginning and the end... You are nothing, but that is all. Zeroes, crumble and fall. This is where your chapter closes."  
"What did you do?!"  
"So kind... You finally acknowledge my ability, though too late. However, I can not take all of the credit. You can thank your creator, Nagisa, for this one. While you have beaten me on the outside, I was destroying you from inside. With those bodies she created, there is no way for you to prevent yourselves from freezing to death."  
"Youji! Speak to me!"  
"Doesn't feel so good on the other end, does it?"

I did it, Ritsuka.  
I overdid it, actually...  
I'm so ready to see you. I'm in so much pain, I just want you to take it all away.

"Soubi!"

"Ritsuka!"  
Soubi hid his hand behind his back and the cruel reality hit.

I can't let him see me like this.

He backed into the shadows.

"Where have you been all this time? Do you know how many times I have called you?"  
"I'm sorry. I was busy."  
"You said you would always answer. Always! I told you not to make promises you couldn't keep and you swore you could keep this one! This is exactly what I was talking about!"

Ritsuka is really angry... I messed up. I deserve this. Go ahead and yell. Hit me if you must. Let it all out.

"I can't believe a word you say!"  
Ritsuka stopped to catch his breath, but Soubi did not fill the silence.  
"Don't just stand there, say something!"  
"I'm sorry."  
"You didn't answer me. Where were you?"

Soubi remained quiet until Ritsuka took a step toward him.  
"Don't..."  
He took two steps back for every step forward Ritsuka took.  
"Soubi... You'll do anything I want, right? As long as it isn't answering questions about Septimal Moon?"  
"...Yes. That is what I said."  
"Prove it. Step out of the shadows and come to me."  
"Ritsuka..."  
"Soubi. This is not a time to hesitate. If you refuse..."  
"You'll punish me?"  
"No!"  
"You'll hate me?"  
"I'll never forgive you. And you will lose every ounce of trust I have left for you.  
Step out of the shadows."

You don't want this Ritsuka... You will regret this decision. But I will do anything I am allowed to.  
I will obey every command within that reasoning.

Soubi walked out into the light of the street lamp, though still hiding his hand.

"Come to me, look me in the eyes, and tell me where you have been. Don't lie to me. Don't withhold any information. I want to know."

Soubi continued walking until he was in front of Ritsuka. Kneeling to his level, Soubi revealed his injuries. Ritsuka stepped back in shock, but Soubi pulled him back and grabbed his face to bring his eyes to his.

"You wanted the truth... I had to fight."  
"Why didn't you call me?"  
"You aren't ready, Ritsuka. If you had been here, I wouldn't have been able to protect you. Those two were dangerous."  
"That doesn't matter!"

Tears came to Ritsuka's eyes, evident by the crack in his voice.

"Don't ever fight alone! Do you know how worried I was? And now I find out that I had every reason to be. I don't care if I get beaten to the ground, unable to get back up again. I can handle it, Soubi. I am no stranger to beatings."

The words hit deep in Soubi's heart.

"None of that could hurt as much as not knowing where you are or if you're okay. Seeing you now, I understand that you could easily be dead right now. And I wouldn't know. Imagine for a second that you're me and you've just found out you were dead. How do you think that would feel for me?"

"I don't have to imagine."

Soubi pulled Ritsuka into his arms, staring into the sky.

"If I were to lose you, Ritsuka, I don't think I'd be able to carry on."  
"Come on... We need to get you bandaged up."

**Ritsuka's Room**

"There... Clean and bandaged."  
"Thank you, Ritsuka."  
"How bad is the pain?"  
"It's nothing I can't handle. It's better now thanks to you.  
After a good night of rest, I should be okay."  
"Are you going back to your house?"

Ritsuka was hopeful. He wasn't quite ready to say goodbye.

"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Last time you said that, you got a nail driven through your hand and I didn't see you until past midnight."  
"Really, this time."  
"You better call me if somethings happens."  
"Is that an order?"  
"Yes, Soubi. It's an order. One of the few I've given you tonight."  
"Goodnight, Ritsuka."

Soubi kissed his forehead and began to walk away.

"Wait..."

As Soubi turned, Ritsuka pulled him down toward him and stole a kiss.  
A deep, emotionally packed kiss on his inviting lips.

I don't ever want this moment to end... Stay here with me forever.

That's what I want to say... But I know you can't.

Goodnight, Soubi.


	7. Chapter 7

"Sou-Chan! Open up! I have something for you!"

The door cracked open just slightly, though more than enough to let Soubi's annoyance through.

"Kio... What are you doing here?"  
"Surprise! I bought us some beer. Thought maybe you could relax a little, you know."

Kio winked, clearly back to his old self again.

"Sou-chan! I'm offering you beer and you are going to keep me waiting outside like this? Let me in already! You have some terrible manners."  
"This really isn't a good time..."  
"What, your house a mess or something?" He tried pushing through, then noticed a sparkle from Soubi's ear. "Oh! Your ears! You actually did it!?"  
"Kio... Lower your voice."  
"I didn't think you'd actually go through with it. Poor kid! Soubi, you pervert!"  
"I'm not a pervert!"  
"Speaking of... Why are you trying so hard to keep me out? What deep, dark secret are you hiding in there?"

Kio didn't wait for the reply. Instead, he pushed through the door, though he immediately wished he hadn't.  
The beer fell from his hand, hitting the floor.

**Ritsuka's house**

Ritsuka extended his body into a deep stretch before stepping out of bed.

Wow.. I don't remember a time I ever slept so well. I feel amazing!

Ritsuka was cautious with each step he took to make it downstairs for breakfast. His feet quietly hit the ground where he stood trying to think the situation out before he approached it. He turned the corner and was greeted by his smiling mother.

"Good morning Ritsuka! Breakfast is almost ready."

Mom is in a good mood today... What a relief.  
There are so few days I see her like this. Very uncommon.  
Almost as uncommon as a full night of rest.

Today seems to be going unusually well.  
I wonder if Soubi is feeling the same.

**Soubi's house**

Kio couldn't move.  
The shock was etched deep within his face.

"No... Soubi...Don't tell me..."  
"Yo."  
"One wasn't enough for you!? You had to pick up two more?!"  
"Soubi, who is this guy? He's annoying."

Youji narrowed his eyes, studying Kio intensely.

"Hey! You watch your mouth you little brat! I'm an adult! You can't speak to me that way!"  
"I'll speak to you however I want to."  
In unison, Kio and Youji shouted "Soubi! Who the hell is this?"

"I told you it wasn't a good time..."  
"You sick pervert! You can't see a child without picking him up, can you?! They aren't kittens!"  
"You really have a way with words, Kio.."

"Hey, loud mouth, you still haven't told me who you are."  
"And why should I tell you? I belong here way more than YOU do."  
"Oh yeah? Then why did Soubi invite us to stay with him? I don't see a bed for you anywhere."

"So it's true!? You really are living with these little brats? Both of them?"  
"Maybe if you would shut up long enough, he would have time to tell you."  
"Soubi!... Huh? Hey! Where did he go?!"

Natsuo interrupted with a smile.  
"He slipped out while you two were arguing."

Ooh... This one's a cutie. Seems a lot nicer than that one, too.  
How can something so pretty be so ugly inside?

"I'm Natsuo, and this is Youji."  
"Kio."  
"Well, Kio, you see that injury on Soubi's hand? That's our handiwork. Soubi picked a fight with us and we had to teach him a lesson."  
"Oh yes, Kio..." Youji softened his voice, playing victim. "He really hurt us. I almost died. And Natsuo has frostbite on his hands. That's why he has to wear those bandages."

Kio gasped, moving closer to the Zeroes and grabbing Natsuo's frostbitten hands.

"Soubi did this?"  
"The pain keeps me up at night... It's excruciating! Though nothing is more painful than the memory of that giant standing over Youji's cold, nearly lifeless body, laughing like some kind of maniac..."

"Don't listen to them, Kio."  
"Hey! When did you get back in? Let us tell our story! We were just getting to the good part!"

"Soubi! How could you hurt these innocent boys like that? So small and frail..."

Kio squeezed them tightly, sheltering them from the big, bad Soubi.

"Yeah, Soubi! How could you?"

Soubi sighed.

"They can't even feel pain. They don't have nerve endings."

"Eh?!"

"Way to go Soubi."  
"You killed it."

"You think that's funny?"  
"I thought it was hilarious. It was Natsuo's idea though."

"You little-"

_Tap tap tap._

"Soubi, I swear... That better not be another little kid!"  
"I'll get it!"

Natsuo ran to the door before Soubi could.

"Helloooo."  
"You... You're not Soubi.."  
"Yeah, so?"

"Ristuka!" Soubi swiftly moved toward the door, moving Natsuo aside.

"Loveless!" Youji jumped up. "Natsuo, get him!"  
"What's going on?!" Kio shouted frantically.  
"Soubi! Get him off of me!"  
"Natsuo!" Soubi lifted him by the back of his shirt and tossed him outside.  
"You can't do that!" Youji fought his way through to let Natsuo back in.

"You!" Kio stood face-to-face with Ritsuka. "Aoyagi!"  
"Soubi.. Who are these people? Why are they all attacking me?!"  
"I, Kio, am Sou-chan's  _lover_. We go waaay back. Yup, knew him before you were even born, kid."

Ritsuka was stunned. The whole situation was so hectic, he couldn't make sense of any of it.  
All he could offer was a blink.

"Don't listen to him, Ritsuka. Kio is just a guy who I go to school with. He paints, too."  
"Just a guy you go to school with?! Maybe I'm not his lover, but I'm his best friend and I will destroy you if you hurt Soubi! You hear me?! DESTROY!"

"Kio, you're such a drama queen! You're scaring him." Youji pulled on Ritsuka's cheek. "Kid looks harmless, actually."  
"I have to admit, Soubi, he's cuuute! I didn't think he would be so adorable!"  
Ritsuka's eyes widened.  
"I'm Natsuo. This is Youji. We are Zero." Natsuo smiled a bright smile and pulled Ritsuka to him. "And don't worry about Kio. He wasn't too nice to us, either. Kinda bitter, really."  
"Hey!" And I thought you were the good guy...

"Everyone sit down!" Soubi hugged Ritsuka, again having to pull Natsuo away.

Everyone got a bit more serious, all eyes on Ritsuka.

"Soubi... You fought those two, didn't you?"  
"Yes."  
"Why are they here?"  
"They didn't have anywhere else to go. They would have frozen to death if I left them... Seimei always said 'Finish what you start'."

Ritsuka looked nervously at the Zeroes.. Intimidating.  
Kio was pulling at Youji's ear and twirling his tail around with his fingers.  
The three were whispering to each other, oblivious to the conversation going on beside them.

"Which one of you put the nail through Soubi's hand?"  
"That would be me." Youji looked up and smirked.  
"Why did you do that!?"  
"Why weren't you there to stop me? You look at me like I'm a monster, but you're the one who let him fight alone!"  
"Soubi didn't answer his phone... I didn't know he was fighting..."  
"So they really aren't connected!"

"Leave him alone, you two." Soubi sighed, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Don't worry, Ritsuka. Soubi can heal from an injury like that over night. He just needs sleep, see?" Natsuo removed the bandage from Soubi's hand and revealed smooth, scarless skin.  
"He's taken a lot worse."

"Hey, Ritsuka..." Kio interrupted. "You really surprised me."  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"Well... I expected you to be more like Seimei.."  
"Yeah!" Natsuo agreed. "Instead, you two are nothing alike."  
"What do you know about Seimei?!"  
"He was a real jerk!" Youji scoffed. "Cold and cruel."  
"No! Seimei was a great guy! He was so gentle and kind..."  
"Maybe the Seimei you knew, but the real Seimei was a disgusting, vile-"

"That's enough! No more talk about Seimei." Soubi covered Ritsuka's ears. "I've tried to stay out of this, but you're going too far."  
"No..." Ritsuka pushed Soubi away. His hands began to tremble. "I don't believe you. That's not possible..."  
Kio took him by the shoulders. Everything tensed.  
"Soubi was a total zombie when I met him, kid. There was no life left in his eyes... A hallow shell of a man. Who do you think did that to him?"

"Out! Kio, go home."  
"I'm only telling him what he needs to hear."  
"Stop. You, too, Zeroes."  
"We don't have anywhere to go!"

Soubi locked the door behind him, fury rising.  
Everything was rushing through Ritsuka's mind all at once.

Who do I believe?

Kio was hurt.  
Soubi was really upset this time..  
But Ritsuka needs to know.

"Hey, Natsuo. Youji.. You can stay with me."  
"Really?"

**Kio's House**

"Well, here we are. It isn't much, but it's a comfy little space."  
"Thanks, Kio." Natsuo pulled a hesitant Youji in through the door.  
"Even if we hadn't been kicked out, I couldn't leave you with Soubi. He obviously has a thing for young boys."  
"Oh, we know." Youji laughed.  
"Can you blame him? Ritsuka is so cute!"  
"If you ask me, you two are cuter than that  _Aoyagi_. Little brat... I still don't trust him."

Youji's ears perked up.

"You think we're cute?"  
"Well,  _your_  attitude isn't..."  
"Youji isn't bad when you get to know him. What about me? You like me, though, right?"  
Kio blushed.  
"H-How should I know?! I guess you're cute, you know, for being so young and all.."  
He quickly stood and walked toward the kitchen.  
"Hungry? I'll cook something good."

Natsuo whispered "He thinks we're cute. Can you believe that?"  
"I guess he's kinda attractive, too." Youji mumbled. "I kinda liked him playing with my tail.."  
"Do you think maybe..."

"Hey! I asked if you wanted anything to eat. You're making it real diff-"  
Youji's lips met Kio's, cutting him off mid-word.

"I like you, Kio." His tail swished side-to-side. "You're alright."

Natsuo pulled him down to the ground and climbed on top of him.

"We were thinking.. It's so boring having these ears. Maybe you could help with that."  
"What!? I can't-... Stop kissing me... Hey! Watch where your hands are going!"

Kio wrapped his arms around Natsuo and rolled over so he'd be on top of him.

"I like your ears.. Both of you."

He pulled Youji to him and kissed his nose, followed by a kiss on Natsuo's forehead.

"I wouldn't mind if you kept them just a bit longer.."

**Soubi's House**

"I'm sorry about that..."  
"What were they talking about? Was Seimei really a bad guy?"

Soubi stood and walked away without a word.

"Soubi... Answer me!"  
"What do you want me to say?"

Ritsuka hadn't heard Soubi raise his voice at him like that before.

"Just tell me the truth, Soubi... I want to know everything you know."

Soubi ran his fingers through his hair, exasperated, and paced the room.

"I'm sick of playing the same old game, Ritsuka."  
"I see...I'm going home."  
"You just got here..."  
"You're stressed and this is getting nowhere. I don't want to fight."  
"Ritsuka, please. We don't have to fight. Please just wait!"  
"Soubi! I'm going home."

* * *

Ritsuka ran home, more frustrated than before.  
With the Zeroes, Kio, and Soubi, the world was becoming far too much to deal with.

Seimei... I wish this were all just a bad dream.  
I'm about to break.. I just know it!

_Ping!_

**Sou** : I'm sorry, Ritsuka. I can't disobey orders. I physically can't.

 **Rit** : Then I order you to tell me what I want to know.

 **Sou** : Ritsuka... I can't...

 **Rit** : That counts as disobeying.

 **Sou** : Seimei ordered me not to. I can't disobey him... No matter how many times you order me to. Please understand.

**Therapist's Office**

"Ritsuka, how are you feeling?"  
"Okay, I guess."  
"I've noticed a change within you in these last few sessions. Do you feel it, too?"  
"Maybe Ritsuka is trying to come back out."  
"You don't really want that, though, do you?"

Ritsuka considered the thought...

"I can see it. You're afraid. You've started building your new life, making new friends and memories, and now you fear 'Ritsuka' will suddenly resurface and rip it all away from you... It's okay to be scared. This is your life."  
"I can't stay... This body belongs to Ritsuka. I have to give it back if he comes to claim it."  
"You only say that because you feel that's what you're required to say. You feel that would be the 'right' thing to do, that you 'need' to do it."  
"Mother needs-"  
"Ritsuka... It's okay to live for yourself. Your mother can't take that away from you."

Ritsuka looked up to her, disbelief winning the battle with his strength.

"How?"  
"Tell me, honestly, without considering 'Ritsuka'... Without considering your mother.. Are you happy?"

_Tick, tick, tick..._

"I am... I really am."

Ritsuka imagined himself in Soubi's arms... Such strength wrapped around him, protecting him.  
In those arms, nothing can harm me. Nothing can break me. Those arms give me strength... Those eyes give me warmth.

"Live your life.. Once it's gone, that's it. So make it something wonderful."

* * *

Come on Soubi...  
Ritsuka pressed one on speed dial.  
You better answer.

Soubi answered almost immediately.

"Ritsuka..."  
"Soubi, don't say anything. Just listen right now. I'm sorry... I constantly press you for answers and I get so angry when I don't get them. I know you're only doing what you have to. I understand that now. I won't do it again.."

Soubi felt pain with every word, hitting deep inside his chest.

"Ritsuka.. I... Can I come over?"

**Ritsuka's House**

Soubi slid open the window and immediately ran to hold Ritsuka.  
He buried his nose in his soft, black hair and sighed deeply.

"I don't like when you're angry with me..."  
"I'm not... Not anymore."  
Ritsuka held him close, feeling the shiver in his body.

Those fearful eyes locked on Ritsuka as Soubi fell to his knees before him.

"Ritsuka, punish me."  
His voice was quiet, but stern.

"What?!"  
"Please... I only displease you. Punish me when I upset you."  
"No! What are you saying? I can't. I won't! It's wrong.. I.. I don't like violence."  
"It's not violence, Ritsuka. It's discipline."  
"I said no! I don't want that!"

The atmosphere thickened, full of need and desperation.

"I deserve it..."

I can't listen to this any longer.. It's sickening.

Ritsuka held Soubi's chin in his hand.  
"It's been a long day. We both need sleep."  
"Yes.. I think you're right." Soubi rose to his feet and fixed his coat. "Goodnight, Ritsuka."  
"Soubi.."  
"Yes?"  
"I... I was thinking you could stay here tonight.."  
"You want me to stay?"

Soubi could not hide the amazement in his voice. Feelings of relief and joy surged through him as he laid in the empty space in bed.  
Ritsuka laid his head on his chest and reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"Don't try anything weird."

Soubi planted a kiss on his forehead and smiled.

"No promises."

**Kio's House**

Kio laid between the two Zeroes, both their heads on his chest.

"Goodnight, Natsuo, Youji."


	8. Chapter 8

"I don't understand... Why so soon?"  
"It's just how it is... I'm sorry it has to be this way."  
"Please don't leave me.."  
"Thank you. For everything."  
"Don't ever forget about me.."

A world without you  
Isn't a world at all.  
To forget...

**Ritsuka**

Soubi..  
You confuse me.. I've become so blissfully unaware.  
Unaware of the destruction. Oblivious to the pain.  
All that I am.. All that I ever was... It doesn't matter anymore.

~  
 **Soubi**

Every breath  
Every heart beat  
Every ounce of my being...  
I belong to you and you alone.  
You can destroy me from the inside  
and work your way out...  
Puncture my lungs  
And slice through my heart...  
You are my existence  
You are my everything.

I never meant to fall in love.  
~

You've destroyed me..  
I'm so thoroughly broken.  
You're tearing me apart.  
And the thing is...  
I don't mind.

~  
 **Unison**  
My reason for being..  
Is you.

**Soubi's House**

"Thank you for bringing me here and making me breakfast, Soubi. It's wonderful."

There was a knock at the door.  
Soubi planted a kiss on Ritsuka's nose, whispering softly "Anything for Ritsuka."

"Didn't I kick you three out? Don't think that I'll so easily forgive you just because a few weeks have gone by."  
Natsuo and Youji smiled, though Kio's gentle features were lined with sorrow.

"Yeah, I do recall such an event." Natsuo waved to Ritsuka, who now stood behind Soubi.  
"We had something to say."  
"Come in. There's still some breakfast left. If you wanna come back, I don't mind.  
I was a bit out of line.."

"No, I think we will stay out here."  
"You're too sweet, Soubi. How cute."  
"Natsuo and I are leaving today."

"What?!" Ritsuka came face-to-face with the Zeroes. "Leaving?"  
"But you don't have anywhere to go.. You said so yourself the day I took you in."

"Professor Nagisa called. We get to come home!" Natsuo cheered. Kio looked away.  
"We came to say goodbye."

"I see.. Really, come in. We can't say a proper goodbye with you standing there."

Natsuo grabbed Kio's left hand and Youji grabbed his right as they entered Soubi's home.

"You're really going, huh?" Ritsuka's ears drooped beside his head. "There's so much we didn't talk about though..."  
"Sorry, Ritsuka. I kinda hate to leave.. Just, it's home, you know?"

Kio walked away to help with the dishes, mumbling quietly under his breath..  
I thought home was with me..  
I took care of you both. Helped heal your frostbitten arms and cooled your food before you ate.  
I laid with you and talked all night when you struggled to sleep and I comforted you through the bad dreams.  
I gave you everything I could..

"Hey, Kio.."  
"Ah! Ritsuka.. Don't scare me like that!"  
"Sorry.. You were just kinda staring off somewhere."  
"Daydreaming." Kio put his best fake smile on display, though it wasn't convincing enough for Soubi.

You've always been terrible at hiding things, Kio.

"Could we talk in private?"  
"Eh?! You're not gonna try anything are you? Soubi not giving you what you want?"  
"N-no! Nothing like that.. I just had some questions."

Ritsuka led the way, away from Soubi and the Zeroes. His tail swayed nervously.

"This seems pretty serious if you don't want Soubi to hear.."  
"Soubi won't tell me anything.. I said I wouldn't ask him about it anymore.. But I know you knew Seimei, too.. Please, I have to know."

Kio sighed.

"Ritsuka, are you sure you want to know?"  
"Of course.. I have to know."  
"I agree, but will you believe me?"  
"I.. You wouldn't lie.. Right?"  
"I don't lie about such important topics. Just don't regret this later."

Ritsuka took a deep breath. This is it. What I've been wanting to know.

"Do you know why Seimei was killed or who Septimal Moon is?"  
"No. I never thought to ask why. I was just glad he was gone. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. And no. Doesn't sound familiar."  
"You really hated Seimei.."  
"I did, but you have to understand.. I saw a completely different side of your brother."  
"You must have made him angry."  
"Did Soubi make him angry?"  
"..Soubi can be extremely vexing at times."  
"You've seen his neck. He didn't carve that himself. Seimei didn't do that because he was angry. That was an act of dominance. Even so, is a knife to the neck a fair punishment for upsetting someone?"

Ritsuka looked to Soubi, sitting at the table with a chatty Natsuo.  
His neck remains bandaged constantly..  
Memories of battles.. Of his bleeding neck.. They all came flooding in.

"I didn't expect you to know the answer to the first question.. Just had to ask."  
"What's really on your mind, Ritsuka?"

I have the information you really want.. But can you handle it?  
How will you take it?

"I want to know the Seimei you knew."

"He was violent.. Dark and cruel. He hurt Soubi in ways you wouldn't believe.. Gave him a real thrill."  
"I.. I can't believe that.. There's no way."  
"I'm not making this up. Look me in the eye and decide for yourself."  
Their eyes locked, the intensity building with the silence.  
"I've seen it. Seimei was no good. Soubi is strong, though, he can handle physical pain. The beatings were no big deal to him.. Punishment, as he would call it.. But that kid.. He got into is mind and he started picking and picking. He rebuked Soubi. He messed him up!"

"Kio! What are you telling Ritsuka? Don't listen to him. Kio doesn't know."  
"I know what I'm talking about! Ritsuka, I hated Seimei. But you are different."  
"It's time to go, Kio. Take Natsuo and Youji to Nagisa and don't come near Ritsuka again."  
"He was a monster! He destroyed Soubi!"

Soubi grabbed Kio's wrist and began drag him out of the room, shouting "Don't believe him!"

"But you fixed him! Let go of me! I can walk."  
"Then get to it. You know where the door is, now use it."

"Wait! What do you mean I fixed him?"  
"You gave me hope, Ritsuka. Soubi was fading into darkness, but you became his light. You breathed life into him again. And for that, I can't thank you enough.."  
"I.. I don't know who to trust."  
"If you had seen him naked, you would know. Goodbye, Ritsuka."

The door slammed shut.  
While one had been opening for Soubi, another was locking Kio away eternally..  
Into the darkness.  
As one grows, another must crumble.

"Kio, are you okay?" Youji held him close, kissing his head softly.

Everyone is leaving me..  
I'm losing all I ever had.  
Soubi.. Natsuo.. Youji.. And now, though I barely knew him, Ritsuka, too.  
What do I have left in this world?

"You will be... You will be okay."  
"We have your number. Look at me, Kio! We will never, ever forget about you."

...To forget  
Is impossible.

Because every night I close my eyes  
I know you'll surely be there.  
But as I reach out to you..

All I'll find is air.

"Soubi.. Is it true?"  
"No, Ritsuka. Forget everything he said to you."  
"Don't lie to me.."

Soubi.. Why do you always look so hurt?  
Is it because of Seimei?  
Kio was right.. He had to be.  
I've noticed, too. The way you've grown a bit softer  
And the way your eyes have thawed.

"Why? Why aren't you honest with me?"

Soubi remained silent.

"Soubi." Ritsuka gathered his strength and let it flow from his voice.  
I'm tired of the games. If that's how you're going to be, fine.

"This is an order. Take off your clothes."

Soubi unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall to the floor.  
The air was cold on his skin, but he stood resisting the urge to curl up, out of sight.

Don't look.. Please don't look at me...  
Will he turn me away now that he knows?  
Now that he sees the ugliness that has created me..

"Remove your bandages as well. I want to see it all. Leave your jeans, though."

His scars were on display for Ritsuka's searching eyes.  
Ritsuka took a step back, a new understanding burning deep inside his mind.

If I close my eyes, this won't be real. These scars will fade and this will all be a dream. How could anyone do this to another living being?

Ritsuka is repulsed.. He backed away from me and now he can't even look at me.  
No, Ritsuka.. I'm not the monster. They are. Please look... Look at me, Ritsuka.

"Did Seimei do this to you? I need an answer." His voice shook.  
"Some of it..."  
"Only some? Who did the rest?"  
"Ritsuka.."

That look of hurt intensified, as though a wound had been reopened.  
Soubi stood; his body tense and guarded.

"I won't order you to tell me. I know that it hurts.. But please."  
"Later... Please."

His eyes begged, so desperate to escape, though physically unable to move without consent.  
Ritsuka.. You have the control. Please, for once I ask, don't use it.  
I can't go there right now.

"Put your clothes back on.."

**Kio**

My world no longer spins how it did before.  
The sun rises so much slower these days.. But it goes so much faster.  
It doesn't shine as brightly as before, either.  
All I seem to find is cloud...

My world is quiet without you here.  
Though I know the cars still pass and the birds still sing,  
without you, the sounds are dull and boring.

And though this room is more spacious than before, the walls are closing in.  
Getting darker and darker.

Will the sun shine tomorrow?  
Or have I fallen out of orbit?

Natsuo.. Youji... Wherever you may be, please be okay.  
How can I ever be if you are not?

Do you miss me how I miss you?

**Soubi's House**

"Ritsuka, will you shower with me?"

Steam filled the room as hot water poured down Soubi's bare back.  
Ritsuka's skin burned red.

This is the first time I've ever seen Soubi naked.  
Such beauty.. Yet such pain.

Ritsuka took in the sight, as did Soubi.

Soubi extended an arm and Ritsuka washed.  
Up his strong arms to his shoulders.. Along his collarbones and down his scarred chest, never breaking eye contact as he washed his equally scarred, but smooth stomach.

"You have so many scars.."  
Ritsuka kissed each one, slowly, gently.  
"Let me take your pain away."

He moved to wash Soubi's back, though the sight of his damaged skin distracted him.  
"Soubi... These are different than before." Small fingers traced over the deepest one, curious and afraid. "What caused these?"

"A whip."

Ritsuka's eyes grew wide with shock, but he knew not to ask.  
His lips caressed the wounds of Soubi's past as he moved down to wash further.

Soubi.. What have you been through?

"You have scars too, Ritsuka."

Soubi kissed him gently before returning the favour of wrapping him in the sweet aroma of cherry blossoms.

"But not from a whip..."

After rinsing, Soubi lifted Ritsuka and stepped out of the shower. Ritsuka's legs wrapped around his waist and his fingers tangled in his wet hair.  
Never let go.. Hold me here, like this, and kiss me and don't ever leave.

Soubi laid him on the bed and tossed him a shirt to wear from his closet. He sat beside him, taking his hand into his own.

"I was put through a very.. different.. kind of training as a kid. Some of the scars you see are from Seimei, but the others... They are from my teacher. Ritsu."  
"Your teacher?"  
"My parents died when I was six years old. Ritsu was my mother's sacrifice, so he took me in. He wasn't too happy about it, though. He trained me personally, always saying I was his favourite."

Soubi cringed with disgust.

"If you were his favourite, why did he hurt you so horribly?"  
"He hurt me because I was his favourite."

* * *

"Soubi.. Your face is so similar to your mother's... I hated her.  
But your soul... You have a beautiful face. Beautiful hair. Everything is beautiful. But your soul is what really caught my attention. And because of that, I've chosen to make you my slave."

* * *

"Pain is proof that you're alive... That's what he would always say as he brought the whip down on my flesh. Endure... You must.. Endure..."

Soubi's grip tightened on Ritsuka's hand as the memories came back.

"I try not to remember.. I don't want to... But the dreams.. They still haunt me at night."

* * *

With a bared upper torso and hands pressed firmly on the wall, Soubi gritted his teeth as to not allow a sound to slip past his lips. Red flowers bloomed across his back, sprouting from deep wounds, and his body grew weak from the whipping hand of his teacher, Ritsu.

I don't know how much more I can take...

With a final strike, seemingly more forceful than the last, Soubi gasped accidentally in surprise. Quickly, he covered his mouth in hope Ritsu hadn't heard... A hope too good to be true. Those keen ears heard all.  
Soubi felt the warmth of his teacher's body pressed against his injuries as a cold hand crept up his stomach.

"You must endure it, Soubi-kun."

Tears fell from Soubi's eyes as that voice rumbled through his ears.

"Yes, sensei..."

Ritsu pressed himself closer, holding him in admiration.

"You must never raise your voice."  
"Yes, sensei." His tremble was evident in his voice.  
"Can you promise me you won't?"  
"Yes, sensei..."

A hint of doubt filled Ritsu's voice.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, se-!"  
His words were cut short as he felt the cold, curious hand slipping into his jeans.  
"What are you-"  
"Shhh. I have an important lesson to teach you."

His hands explored over Soubi's thighs, traveling higher. He took his length into his hand and watched his shifting expression.

"Se..nsei.."  
A cruel hand slapped Soubi to the ground as piercing eyes glared at his topless body.

"I'm sorry..."  
"Shut up."

The whip returned, lashing against Soubi's slender torso. The leather didn't bite as deep, though the sting was torturous.

"Get off the ground."

Soubi struggled to get up, but he was too slow. Wrapping his blonde hair around his hand, Ritsu swiftly pulled him from the ground and to his face.  
His eyes were like ice, freezing Soubi's soul.

He shoved him down again, onto his stomach, and raised his hips.  
His hot tongue traced the wounds, making Soubi writhe in pain.

"Ahg!"  
"Soubi. What is the rule?"  
"N-never... raise your.. voice.."

Ritsu thrusted himself deep into Soubi, ripping through his virginity. The pain intensified as he went harder and harder, angry with every gasp and cry Soubi let out.

"You want to make so much noise, fine. Cry out my name."  
"W-what?"

Ritsu pulled his head by his hair and brought him to his chest.  
His moves were violent and rough.  
"You know very well what I said, now do it."

"R-Ritsu... Sensei! Gah!"

* * *

"Soubi! That's... What a monster!" Tears streamed down his cheeks. "He raped you!"  
"He said it was to build my endurance for pain.. To make me stronger."

Soubi grew sick at the thought.

"You tell me to punish you.. That story is more reason not to! I can't be a monster like them. I can't hurt you, Soubi!"  
"Ritsuka, I want to be punished. It's the only way..."  
"No!"  
"Ritsu was a monster, yes, but you aren't him. You aren't Seimei."  
"Exactly! So we shouldn't even be having this conversation!"  
"But if I upset you..."  
"No more! I don't want to talk about this anymore!"  
"Then make me stop, Ritsuka!"  
"You want me to stop you?"  
"Yes! That's exa-"

Ritsuka shoved him down against the bed and bit his lip, kissing him deeply.  
Soubi wrapped his arms around him, trying to pull him closer than humanly possible.

I can't get close enough.  
You're here, pressed against me.  
I feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest and your breathing heavy against my skin, but you're still too far away.

I want to become one. I need to bring you deeper.

"Soubi..." RItsuka breathed.  
He pulled his hair back and his eyes connected with Soubi on the deepest level.  
He heard a ringing in his ear.

"Soubi... What's this noise?"  
"You can hear it, too?"

We've finally connected.


	9. Chapter 9

"Youji! Want some coffee? I just made it."  
"No thank you, sensei."  
"What about me, sensei?"  
"Make your own!"

It has been this way for as long as I can remember.  
Nagisa-sensei always favoured Youji. Can't say I blame her, really.  
Youji was always my favourite, too.

The day we returned, she greeted him with a pat on the head.  
"It's been so long, Youji! It's so great to have you back!"  
She smiled that girlish smile and laughed.  
"Hello, Nagisa-sensei."  
"Oh, Natsuo. Hi."  
But she barely looked in my direction.

Maybe it's because he's my sacrifice. Everyone always seems to favour the sacrifice...  
Except Kio.  
The one person in the world who liked me more than Youji.  
Kio made me feel special...

"Don't just stand around, Natsuo!"  
"Yes.. Sensei."

**Kio**

I've spent a lot of time in front of my canvas lately.  
I started practicing on real-life portraits, though I can't seem to get it right.  
The head is always too big or too small. Things are never even.  
I know that no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to capture the beauty in those eyes.  
Still, I try.

I don't eat as much as I did before. I've grown rather thin, really.  
And I don't sleep most nights, either.  
I just paint.. Paint until the canvas is full.  
It's all I have.

I'm not okay without you two.. I know this.  
I need you. I can't go on like this much longer.

My world is crashing down around me...  
But if you asked, I'd lie and say everything was fine.

* * *

**Youji:** Kio. I'm sorry we haven't been texting recently.. It's very busy around here. How have things been?

**Kio:** Everything is great here. We've had some beautiful days. Are you enjoying being home?

**Youji:** Oh, yes. It's just like old times. Natsuo and I are doing well.

* * *

**Youji**

My fingers tremble as I type these words..  
I can't even convince myself.  
But lying is the only way.  
I'm sorry, Kio. You don't need to worry.

I can't help but notice.. Something isn't quite right about this place.  
Though it looks the same, and Nagisa-sensei hasn't changed, I feel so out of place.  
I don't belong here.

Each day is more difficult than the last.  
My eyelids seem to be growing heavier, because I struggle to open them each morning.  
It's even more difficult to get out of bed.  
My body feels heavy...  
But I just have to push through. I have to pretend it's okay.  
For Natsuo's sake...  
I have to stay strong for him.

* * *

"Youji! Natsuo. You two will be attending school soon, okay?"  
"What?!"  
"I don't want to go to school..."  
"Quit complaining! You two lost to Soubi! You know what happens when you lose?  
It gives me a bad reputation!"  
"But Soubi is strong!"  
"That's why you have to go to school, Natsuo! To get stronger. I want you both retrained. End of discussion."  
"Sensei..."  
"End of discussion!"

**Natsuo**

School dragged on and texts came less and less.  
The clocked ticked away the hours of our misery.  
The thought of our lives before started to fade into a distant memory.

But I will never let go.

I have to strain to remember what it was like before.  
Your face no longer appears in my dreams, though I long to see you again.  
I have to...

* * *

**Kio:** Hey! You two really don't text me enough! How am I supposed to know if you're okay?

**Natsuo:** Everything is fine, silly Kio. You worry too much. We've just been so busy... Nagisa is making us go to school now.

**Kio:** Yeah, Youji mentioned that the last time we called. How's it going?

**Natsuo:** I love it here. We are becoming so much stronger.

I hate it. All of it. I don't want to be here anymore.

* * *

**Kio**

You're home now..  
You're happy.  
I guess that's all that matters...

Drops of tears lined the screen of his phone.

* * *

Days turned to weeks.  
Every day grew worse and worse.

"I can't do it anymore, Natsuo..."  
"What is it?"  
"We dropped everything... We left our lives.. For this? I don't like it here..."  
"I don't either, but what can we do? We waited for this moment for so long."  
"I miss everyone so much." Youji pulled Natsuo to him.  
"I even miss Soubi...We aren't supposed to feel pain, but my heart aches."  
"I thought coming home was a good thing.. Why am I so lonely?"  
"We aren't home, Youji.. Don't you see? Home called last night... And he said he misses us."  
"I miss home, too..."

* * *

Kio sat in the darkness, paintbrush in hand.

Two long months... They've been away so long.  
I haven't gotten a text in days. I know they're busy, but all I need is one..  
Just one text.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Go away...

_Tap, tap._

Kio sighed.

"Kio! You home?"

His heart skipped a beat.

Could it be...

He ran to the door, twisted the handle, and the sunlight flooded in.  
His hair was a mess, and he had paint on his face, but he didn't care.  
In a few seconds, his eyes would adjust to the light and he hoped to see the faces he'd missed so dearly.

"...Hello?"

No one was there.  
No one... is here...I'm hearing things.

The door clicked shut and he fell to his knees.  
Tears streamed down his cheeks, falling like rain to the floor.

Will they ever be home?

"Kio!"  
Four thin arms wrapped around him, holding him close with worry.  
"You're a mess.. What happened?"

Kio's eyes grew wide with disbelief.

Those voices.. Is it really...

He reached up, grabbing a hand to see if it was real. His heart started pounding in his chest, so afraid to be tricked again.

"Natsuo...Youji.. N-Natsuo! Youji!"

He picked Natsuo up and spun him around excitedly, kissing his cheek multiple times.  
He then turned to a surprised Youji and hugged him so hard it would have hurt if he could feel pain.

"What are you doing here!?"  
"We couldn't stay there any longer.. We missed being home."  
"We missed you... I'd say you missed us, too." Youji pushed Kio's hair back, kissing his forehead.  
"It's okay, though, because we are here now." Natsuo kissed his cheek.

Kio pulled Natsuo on top of him and kissed his lips softly before doing the same to Youji.  
They laid on the ground, each in each other's embrace. Kio laughed, so full of joy and shock. His head felt fuzzy.

I haven't felt like this since they left.. My world has returned. I'm so glad they're home!  
But.. Should they be? The thought brought unease.

"What about Nagisa?"  
"She will miss Youji, but I doubt she will care I'm gone."  
"And she should have thought of that before she sent us away the first time."

Natsuo sat up, stretching his arms.  
"You've been doing a lot of painting."  
"Judging by his face, he ran out of canvases." Youji laughed, tracing his finger over the dried paint on Kio's skin. "You have no idea how much we missed you..."  
"I thought about you both every day.. Wondering if you were okay.. If you were missing me.  
The thoughts kept me up at night."  
"I can tell.. You have dark circles under your eyes."  
"I'll be okay now that you're here with me."

Everything is right again.

"Are you two hungry? It must have been a long train ride home."  
"Yeah, we haven't eaten in a while, so we probably are."  
"It's okay, though, Kio. I can cook." Natsuo walked into the kitchen. "You go get cleaned up."

"Kio really missed us, Youji..."  
"Yeah.. It's depressing in here.. Did he ever leave the house?"

Youji pulled open the curtains, letting in the light.

"Kio wasn't the type to keep a messy home.. There are art supplies everywhere."  
"Look, Youji! He tried to paint us..."  
"Aww. He tried. I like them."  
"They say you can feel an artist's emotions in his work."  
"I can feel his loneliness, but only because I went through it, too. Now, you aren't really going to cook, are you?"  
"I'm hungry, but not for food." Natsuo winked.  
"I think we should show Kio just how much we missed him."

Kio smiled as he rinsed the conditioner from his hair.

This is almost too good to be true. I thought I might never see them again.  
I'm scared I'm going to wake up and find it was all a dream... I don't want to wake up alone again. I don't think my heart could take it.

"I didn't know you had a tattoo on your back."  
"W-What are you doing in here?!" Kio shrieked and pulled the shower curtain to cover himself.  
"Aww. He has a cute butt." Natsuo smiled.  
"Don't make unnecessary observations! I don't talk about how cute your... I mean.."  
"How cute my what is?" Natsuo pulled the shower curtain from his hands. "Don't hide from us!"  
"Oh my!" Youji's tail stiffened, standing straight up and his ears stood in attention.  
"Don't look! Stop looking!"

Natsuo pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it aside, along with the rest of his clothes. Kio blushed bright red. Youji did the same, stepping into the shower with Kio.

"Why so speechless, Kio? Are we not allowed to shower with you?"

Youji pressed his chest to Kio's stomach and kissed him on the neck softly.

"We haven't gotten a chance to shower yet.. Youji, will you help wash me?"

Kio watched as the Zeroes washed each other, occasionally whispering and giggling.

"I think he likes it.. Wash my tail, but do it slowly."

Natsuo held his tail, making slow, firm strokes.

"He definitely likes it." He giggled and glanced over to Kio, biting his lip as he held steady eye contact. Youji leaned into Natsuo, arching his back slightly and moaning softly to further Kio's excitement.

Kio moved behind Natsuo, grabbing his wrist. His erection pressed against his back as he pulled his hair back. He nibbled on his ear and whispered "You're tempting me."

Natsuo released Youji's tail and turned. He pulled Kio's head down to his level, kissing him deeply.  
"Maybe that's what we want."  
He bit Kio's lip, pulling it with his teeth.

Youji slipped down in front of him, holding his erection in his hand. He pressed his tongue at the base, slowly sampling his flavour as he licked his way up. He circled the tip before taking it in, one delicious inch at a time. Natsuo got on his knees beside him, kissing his thighs as he waited for Youji to pull back.  
Natsuo took him in, holding his hips and pressing him deeper into throat until Kio began to move on his own.

Youji took Kio's chin in his hand and inserted a finger into his mouth. "Suck."  
Kio mimicked the motion Natsuo was making until Youji was satisfied.  
He reached behind, teasing Kio before slipping his finger carefully inside.  
"Are you a top or bottom, Kio?"  
He blushed.  
"It's okay either way.. You're gonna be both today." He smiled as he inserted another into Kio's tight body. He tensed around him, signally for Natsuo's sudden stop.

Kio swiftly lifted Natsuo, urging him to wrap his legs around his waist as he carried him to a bed.  
He laid him down, taking in the view. He leaned down to kiss his smooth stomach, hearing Youji run behind him.

"What about me?"

He pushed Youji down beside Natsuo and climbed on the bed with them. He stroked Youji's erection, sucking the tip at the same time.  
Natsuo positioned himself behind Kio, carefully penetrating his body.  
Kio groaned softly in discomfort.

"Does it hurt?"  
"A bit.. I've never done this before..."  
Natsuo thrust himself inside, waiting for Kio to adjust before moving his hips.  
Kio continued to suck, taking Youji all the way into his mouth as he moaned at the sensation building inside.

"Ah.. I don't want to cum yet.." Natsuo pulled out, his breathing heavy.  
"K..Kio.. I wanna try now.."  
Youji pushed Kio to his back, holding his legs in his hands. Natsuo hovered over him and gripped him firmly as Youji's penis massaged him internally.  
Youji took in the sensation of Kio's body tensing around him, so welcoming and full of desire. Holding him tightly as if begging him to never stop.

Kio eased him out, pressing him to the bed as he rubbed his tip against his opening.

"You can't feel pain, right?"  
"Hasn't changed." Youji smiled, his eyes heavy with passion.  
Kio filled his hole, making him gasp at the sensation.

"How is it?" Natsuo laid beside him, eagerly awaiting his turn.  
"It feels.. weird... But it's so.. Ah!" Kio lifted his hips a bit and pounded into him, making him moan.  
His hips moved to Kio's rhythm and his head fell back. He gripped the sheets, squirming beneath the hot, alluring body that was bringing him into a state of total ecstasy.

He came on his stomach, his body trembling.

Natsuo traced his finger through the warm fluid, bringing it to Youji's mouth.  
"How do you taste?"  
Youji sucked, panting heavily. Kio licked his stomach, pleased, and kissed Natsuo deeply to share the flavour.  
"I wonder if you taste as good as Youji.."

He flipped Natsuo onto his stomach over Youji's still shaking body, bringing his hips up to meet his own as he buried himself inside.

Natsuo gasped into Youji's's ear, tangling his fingers into his hair.  
"Nhn.."

Kio thrust harder, reaching around. He pumped his penis in his hand, matching the timing of his hips.  
Natsuo's body responded with such intensity. His arms grew weak and he collapsed onto his forearms.

"K..kah...Kio!" His voice was filled with desperation, heavy with desire.  
Kio continued after Natsuo's release, tracing his cum covered thumb over his lip.  
With a groan, he finished inside. He remained still for a few seconds before pulling out, taking Natsuo into his arms.

He kissed the back of his neck before licking his hand clean, savouring the taste.  
"As I thought.." He spoke so softly only Natsuo could hear. "You taste even better."  
The words sent a chill down Natsuo's spine, intensified by a kiss on the back of his neck.

"Is this what you wanted?"He breathed, feeling the spot where Natsuo's ears previously were.

He laid back on the bed, holding them both close as they nodded lightly.

"I love you two."


	10. Chapter 10

**Two Months before, when the Zeroes left**

**Therapist**

"I'm glad you've started making friends, Ritsuka. I'd love to hear all about them!" Dr. Katsuko smiled excitedly.

You're finally loving yourself, Ritsuka. You've changed so much and you don't even realise it.  
I'm so happy for you... But I hope they aren't girls.  
She blushed.

"Their names are Natsuo and Youji. I didn't like them at first. They were rude and loud.. But I see now they really aren't bad at all. I enjoy being around them."

Phew... Boys!

"I also have a friend at school. Yuiko. She's kinda ditsy, but she's getting better. I like her, too."

My rival.. Oh, Ritsuka, if I were twenty years younger!  
She was off in her own little world, recreating her childhood, only with Ritsuka included.

"Sensei..."  
"Oh! Yes?"  
"I won't be seeing Natsuo or Youji anymore. They went back home."  
"Do they live far away?"  
"I think so.."  
"Why don't you visit them sometime?"  
"I.. I don't know where they live.." Ritsuka looked away in embarrassment. "I miss them a lot, though."  
"It's okay to miss them. I would be more surprised if you didn't. You seem to like them a lot."  
"When I first started seeing you, I didn't understand what it meant to 'like' someone or to be liked.. The thought of love.. It was terrifying."

Soubi.. You said that word.. Love.. You said it so lightly. I didn't know what to think. How to feel. You were the main reason I feared love.

"I think I understand now, Sensei. I think I know what it means to love.. And to be loved."

It's the most wondeful feeling. You stopped saying it, but I realised that was because now you meant it. And I...

"Love.. It can be scary at times. It can hurt and it can be confusing. But love is powerful. It gives you strength. Love is wanting to do anything just to see someone smile, and fighting through it with them when they can't."

"Sensei.. You've helped me so much. I don't think I could have made it this far without you."  
"You've helped me, too, Ritsuka. I always look forward to talking with you."  
"I think this will be our last session."  
"I see. If you ever happen to see me around and want to talk, I can be a great friend." She smiled softly.  
"I'm happy to see that smile. I don't want anyone or anything to ever destroy it. Because I would do anything to make my friends smile."

**Ritsuka**

Dr. Katsuko and I said our goodbyes, though I was sure we would meet again. Though I no longer felt I needed a therapist, I would like to see her again some day. She always had such a pretty smile. I guess it started to rub off on me, because I smile so much more now.

I've started staying with Soubi a lot more recently, but it's not always as nice as I thought it would be..

* * *

"Riiiitsukaaa. You're so soft!"  
"Don't touch me there!"  
"What? It's just your thigh. If I can see it, I should be allowed to touch it."  
"Oh really? You walk around without a shirt on sometimes! How would you feel if I started touching your chest because 'if I can see it, I should be able to touch it'?"  
"You can touch the places you can't see, if you want." Soubi winked. "I can make those places visible."  
"No!"

* * *

It gets a little confusing sometimes. I've started having weird thoughts.. Like, "maybe I wouldn't mind". Occasionally when he falls asleep, he doesn't cover himself with the blanket and his shirt comes up, exposing his stomach..  
My first response should be to cover him so he doesn't catch a cold... But sometimes I want to reach out and touch him.. But not always on his stomach.

What am I thinking... I sound like a pervert! Just like him! I'm not a pervert.

I'm probably just lonely. I wish Natsuo and Youji were still here. He won't admit it, but Soubi misses them, too.

**Soubi**

It's so empty in here without those two.. Quiet, too. I'm glad Ritsuka has started staying with me, though. He's so cute! I like to play with his ears and tail when he's asleep.. He gets angry when I do it while he's awake. I think he's warming up to me, though. Hehe if only he could see his facial expressions.

I guess the main reason it's so quiet is because Kio hasn't been visiting.. I really should go check on him. I haven't seen him since the Zeroes left. How long has it been? Hmm.. About two months now. I'll take Ritsuka with me to visit tomorrow.

**Ritsuka**

I wish Kio would visit like he did before. I guess he's still fighting with Soubi.. I hope he's okay. I'll have to convince Soubi to go check on him.

**Soubi's House**

"Natsuo.. Youji. I thought you went back home?"  
Soubi took a good look at the two, shocked. He glanced to Kio and back again.  
"Yeah, we did. We came back." Ah, Youji, you haven't changed.  
"Kio, you're here, too.."  
"Are you just going to point out the obvious or are you going to let us in?"  
Soubi Sighed.  
"Come in.. You, too, Kio."  
"Sou-chaaaaan!" Kio sobbed. "I thought you would be mad at me forever!"  
"I was actually going to check on you today... Don't cling so tightly. And you have some explaining to do!"  
"Soubi? Is someone here?"

"Ritsuka!"

"Natsuo... Youji... You're back!"

He ran and hugged them both, nearly making them fall.

"Ritsuka!" Natsuo cheered. "Miss us? We missed you! You haven't changed. Still a cutie!"  
"Don't listen to him. The only one we missed less than you was Soubi." Youji looked away to hide his slightly teary eyes. "Like we'd miss you losers!"  
"What... What happened.. You.."  
"Hmm?"

Ritsuka stared at the space their ears were when they left and spun them around to find the lack of a tail.

"You lost your ears?!"  
"Yeah, isn't it cuuute?"  
"When.."  
"Last night when we got home." Youji kissed Kio on the cheek. "It isn't that surprising, really. I mean, look at us."  
"We're just too cute. Kio couldn't resist."

Soubi laughed lightly and softly spoke to Kio.

"Pervert. They're the same age as Ritsuka."  
"I'm not a pervert!"

"What's surprising is that you still have your ears! All this alone time with Soubi.. Don't tell me he didn't try anything."

I can't believe they lost their ears before me...

Ritsuka glanced curiously at Soubi, quickly looking away when Soubi turned.

I wouldn't know what to do if I tried...

"Natsuo, get off of Ritsuka."  
"Why Soubi? Jealous? Maybe I'll take Ritsuka's ears hehe."  
"What?!" Ritsuka hid behind Soubi. "You wouldn't really.."  
"Aw! He's blushing! He wants it, Soubi."

Everything as falling into place. Despite being the only virgin in the room, I couldn't be happier.

* * *

"Ritsuka... Ritsuka, open your eyes."  
"S..Seimei..?"  
"Wake up. You're never going to find out anything about my murder if you're sleeping."

Tears...  
I've started hearing his voice again in my dreams and I always wake with tears in my eyes.  
Why.. Why do I hear his voice?

"Are you even trying?"

I'm trying.. I really am..

Just when I thought everything would be okay again..  
My world starts crashing around me..

"Ritsuka, are you okay?"  
Soubi mumbled, still half asleep.  
"Yeah.. Just a dream. Go back to sleep."  
"Cuddle with me.."

"Try harder."

* * *

The days seemed normal and everyone seemed so happy to be around each other.  
I decided not to tell Soubi about the dreams, but they came more and more as time went on.  
Occasionally I'd become so sleep deprived I could make it a night without dreaming.  
Such a rare, wonderful occurrence. I never thought I'd want to escape that voice.

* * *

"Soubi, is Ritsuka okay?" Kio whispered.  
"Yeah, he just hasn't been sleeping well. He is having bad dreams, but he won't tell me what they're about."  
"Maybe he doesn't trust you, Soubi." Youji cut into the conversation. "I wouldn't."  
"Are you sure he's having bad dreams?" Natsuo frowned.  
"I think so. He always seems a bit shaken up after.."  
"Good morning."

Ritsuka walked into the room with a wide yawn, disrupting the conversation.

"Good afternoon, you mean. You slept through the morning." Youji patted him on the head.  
"Ah, what are you three doing here?"  
"Just visiting our dear friends." Natsuo smiled.

Ritsuka sat beside Soubi, rubbing his eyes.  
"Soubi, you left the window open last night."  
"I didn't open the window. I thought you did it."  
"Kio sleep walks sometimes. Maybe you do, too, Ritsuka." Natsuo leaned forward.  
"That's creepy! Natsuo, if you ever start sleep walking, I might have to lock you in a room."  
"Hey! That's terrible! Sleep walking isn't creepy! And I don't do it!"

"Ritsuka, while they're arguing, do you want to go to the store with me?" Soubi wrapped an arm around his waist.  
"Yeah.. I don't feel like dealing with this today."

* * *

"You can talk to me, you know.."  
"I know, Soubi."  
"Then why haven't you? I know something has been bothering you."  
"I.. It's nothing."  
"You don't realise you have bags under your eyes, do you? You're pale and I know you haven't been sleeping well. Those dreams you've been having... Ritsuka.. What are you looking at?"  
"S..Seimei!"

Ritsuka ran as fast as possible, leaving a stunned Soubi behind. His heart was pounding in his chest.

"Ritsuka slow down! Stop!"  
"I can't! He's.. He's..!"  
"Ritsuka!"

Soubi caught him by the arm.

"He was here, Soubi! I saw him.."  
"Seimei? Seimei was here?" The look of disbelief cut deep into Ritsuka's heart.  
"I.. I thought... I'm sorry."  
"Calm down. Just take a deep breath. There's no way you saw him, Ritsuka."  
"I know... I'm sorry. I've been hearing him in my dreams and.. I thought I saw him. There's no way he could get away that fast. I'm hallucinating.."

He's trying to convince himself...

"I would have felt it if Seimei was here, RItsuka."  
"I just need sleep.."

Ritsuka checked the corner again, hoping he wasn't imagining.

Soubi will think I'm losing my mind if I do something like that again..  
Still, I can't help thinking...

* * *

"You aren't losing your mind, Ritsuka. It's okay."

Seimei's voice came to me again that same night.  
The comfort it gave me was shadowed by fear.  
Is this going to be my life now?

"It's just you and me, Ritsuka. Don't let anyone come between us"

Seimei.. They tell me you're a monster.

"Don't let them convince you. I'm all you have. You can't turn on me, Ritsuka. I'm your gentle, loving brother who protected you from mother all of these years. I have never betrayed you."

But you left me... I guess you couldn't have stopped that..

"I'm here for you, Ritsuka. Soubi is not. Soubi would leave you in a heartbeat Soubi is the monster."

No..

"Soubi does't love you. He doesn't love anyone. He isn't capable of such human emotion."

You're wrong... You have to be wrong..

"You are powerless. You have no control. Soubi would destroy you and never look back."

"No!"

"Ritsuka!"

Ritsuka found himself wrapped in Soubi's arms, trembling with unfathomable emotion.

"It's okay, Ritsuka. I'm here. You were just dreaming."  
"Soubi.."  
"Shhh.. I know. It's okay."  
"I'm so afraid, Soubi.."  
"You have nothing to fear as long as I'm here."

As long... As you're here..

* * *

"Soubi, let's go somewhere today."  
"I'm sorry.. I'm very busy today."  
"Oh.. Okay."

The start to a cycle..

"Soubi, can you help me with this?"  
"Not right now."

He told me he would obey any order..  
Though they were only small requests, Soubi began to say no a lot.  
I am powerless over you..

"Soubi, your neck is bleeding.. Here, I'll clean you up."  
"No." Soubi backed away. "I'll do it."  
"Soubi... Just let me clean you up."  
"I can handle this myself. I don't need your help."

His words were like ice.

You don't need my help?  
Why?  
Why is it that when we finally start getting close, building a connection, you start shutting down again?  
What am I doing wrong?

"Your scar usually only bleeds during battles.. What's going on?"  
"It just happens. You need to go back to your house. You haven't been back in a while. Your mother is probably worried about you."  
"No.. I'm staying here."  
"No, you aren't. This is my house and I'm telling you to go for tonight."  
"You know I can't go back home!"  
"I'll give you directions to Kio's house."  
"Soubi! Why are you pushing me away?!"  
"Here. It's not far from here. Goodnight."  
"Soubi.."  
"Goodnight."

* * *

"Soubi!"

Ritsuka beat on the door for a while after Soubi rushed him out.

"Please don't do this to me!"

I don't understand. Why is this happening?  
Why won't you do anything I ask anymore?  
How can you turn so cold so suddenly?

And I realised.. Maybe he has his own problem he's dealing with.

"I told you. Soubi doesn't care about you." The voice startled Ritsuka.  
It can't be...

A dark figure appeared from the shadows, approaching Ritsuka.  
Instinctively, Ritsuka backed away and tried to scream, but the sound just wouldn't come out.

Soubi.. Soubi please help me.

* * *

**Soubi**

Ritsuka is calling me.. But I.. I can't always be there for him.  
I'm sorry.. I wish I could.

* * *

"Hey, is that how you treat your older brother, Ritsuka?"

A soft, smiling face came into the light, looking exactly as Ritsuka remembered.

"S..S..Seimei!"

He ran, jumping into Seimei's open arms. He smiled, laughing as though the last few years hadn't happened at all. As if it were just a bad dream.

"Seimei.. I missed you so much! I talked to you every day and I... I.." Tears started to fall. "You're alive!"  
"Of course I'm alive. Did you think I would really leave you?"  
"We have to tell mom!"  
"No.. Don't. I can't stay long... Come with me, Ritsuka. Let's get away from this place, just you and me."  
"What about Soubi?"  
"What about him? He just kicked you out."

This voice.. So familiar, but so distant.

"But.. I.."  
"I'll let you think about it."  
"Seimei, wait!"

He had already disappeared...

I'm.. I'm dreaming. Imagining.. No.  
It's too real. Seimei is alive!  
Soubi.. Soubi's true sacrifice.. What does this mean for me?

Soubi!

Ritsuka called Soubi.. No answer.

**Rit** : Soubi, this is important. Please answer me.

It's getting cold.

Ritsuka was back at Soubi's house, but Soubi didn't seem to be home.

**Soubi**

Ritsuka.. I'm sorry.

"Ritsuka hates you. I saw him leaving your house. He told me all about you."  
"You talked to him? I thought you were going to stay away!"  
"Soubi, have you forgotten how to talk to me?"  
"No.."  
"Maybe.." Seimei kicked Soubi down and used his knee to push his chin up to look at him. "You need a little reminder?" He pulled his hair and threw him aside.  
"As I was saying, Soubi, Ritsuka wants nothing to do with you anymore. I'm not surpised. You weren't good enough for me, you aren't good enough for him. Shame. But at least Ritsuka has his own true fighter out there somewhere. He isn't stuck with you by name, unlike me. It's really pathetic seeing how you've turned out while I was gone. Meanwhile, I found someone else to fight for me."

Soubi didn't say a word. He looked down, stung by every word.

"I didn't care much for him, either. He was worse than you. Made me consider giving you a second chance, even. I'll call on you when I'm ready. If I decide to take your miserable self back, that is."  
"... I'll be waiting."

"Yes, you will. Good boy, Soubi. Don't look so hurt about it. Seeing your eyes, I get the impression you don't want to come with me. You don't have to, you know. Ha! Just kidding. All I have to do is say the word and you won't be able to stop yourself. It must be awful being you. Unable to disobey my orders. Even if I told you to tie your precious Ritsuka up and beat him. Your brain screams no, your heart cries just hearing me say this. You're afraid. You don't know what I'll decide to do.. And still, your body must go against all reasoning and it only follows my voice. What should I make it do, Soubi?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Kio's** **House**

"Thank you so much for letting me stay, Kio. I'm sorry I bothered you this late."  
"It's okay. I know Soubi can be difficult.. I will get better."  
"I hope you're right.."  
"I can't believe it... Seimei's really alive..."  
"I'm so scared. I don't know how to feel about it all."  
"Oh Ritsuka..." Kio held him close. "It's understandable to be confused. Would you like some tea to make you feel better?"  
"No, thank you."

* * *

"What's got you so upset, Ritsuka?"  
"Yeah, stop pouting and spill it. You have Natsuo worried over here."  
"Youji! You agreed we'd be sensitive!"

Ritsuka sighed heavily and rose from his seat.

Should I tell them?  
Would they even understand?  
Maybe they will be able to help me..

"Look what you did Youji! You stressed him out! Now he will never tell us... Oh I hope he's okay. Poor Ritsuka!"  
"Poor Ritsuka... Is that all you worry about? He probably just had a fight with Soubi."

Is it really that obvious?

"You're right. Soubi and I haven't been getting along too well..."  
Youji's mouth dropped open as he stared into Natsuo's shocked eyes.

Okay.. Maybe not that obvious.

"What happened Ritsuka?! Come on, tell us. We're here for you!"  
"Get off of him Natsuo!"  
"If you two weren't arguing, I might be telling you right now."

That shut them up.

"Soubi isn't mine... He's Seimei's. Every word he says... Every breath he takes... Seimei is aways there pulling the strings. Even before we realised Seimei was still alive, there were certain rules in place that prevented Soubi from truly belonging to me.."

"Unfortunate, but that's just how it is. I mean, Seimei's name is carved into Soubi. There's no erasing that." Youji shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing you can do."  
"Wait a second Youji..." Natsuo leaned forward. "Those two may be bound together by name, but Soubi has already proved that the name doesn't even matter. He has fought for you.. Fought against his name. Soubi is a remarkable person."

"He only fought for me because Seimei ordered him to. He didn't go against his name.. He did as he was told. If not for that, Soubi wouldn't even spit in my direction."

"Soubi would give his life for you! Order or no order."  
"I have no control over him! It seems like no matter what I do, he won't listen. He told me.. All I had to do was order him and he would do it. I never liked people who allowed themselves to be used... But it was all just a lie. A false sense of power. It was always 'I'm sorry Ritsuka. I can't.." What if Seimei orders him to kill me? Nothing would stop him from obeying that order. I could demand him to stop, but my words are useless against him."

The world would surely come to an end the day Youji ran out of words to say, yet there he was... Speechless.

"Ritsu-sensei..." Natsuo muttered almost inaudibly.  
"What?" Youji looked to him, eyes questioning.  
"Ritsu-sensei... You mean Soubi's old teacher?" Ritsuka couldn't contain the disgust in his voice.  
"Ritsu knows Soubi better than any of us do... Probably even better than Seimei. If Ritsuka talks to Ritsu... If he tells him it's urgent and that it concerns Soubi... Surely he might be able to help."

"I can take you there."

Kio's voice filled the room, shocking everyone.

"How long have you been there?!" Youji shouted furiously. "You nearly gave us a heart attack!"  
"Long enough. Ritsuka, I will take you."  
"Who even said I was going? I appreciate the offer, and I understand where you are coming from Natsuo, but I don't want that man's help."

"Ritsuka." Kio's voice was firmer than he had ever head it before. "I've said it before and I'll say it again.. Seimei is a terrible person and he is planning something evil. I don't know what, but he had to have a reason for making everyone think he was dead. For manipulating you. If there is any hope for Soubi, it's you. You can't ever give up on him. The day you give up is the day you give Seimei the freedom to do with Soubi as he pleases."

"He never stopped controlling Soubi... I'm just and obstacle."  
"Don't you dare tell me you don't play a role in this! Seimei isn't as powerful as he was before and I believe you can break Soubi from him completely."  
"But how?"  
"I don't have the answers. I don't know if anyone has the answers you seek, but if someone does, it will be Ritsu. You don't have a choice in the matter. I am taking you tomorrow and you are talking to this man. I won't let you give up. I won't let you lose Soubi and I definitely won't let Seimei be the death of you. I hated you, too, at first. I couldn't deal with the thought of Soubi being controlled by another Aoyagi... But you are everything he needs. You are his life. I couldn't handle losing either of you."

Kio left the room in an emotional rush, leaving Ritsuka to gather his thoughts.

This feeling..  
I feel empowered.  
Kio's words.. He couldn't handle losing me?  
I never thought there would be a day when I would be loved so much and by so many.  
I understand now. I must fight. I must win.

"Where does Ritsu live?" There was a new energy in Ritsuka's voice.  
"Natsuo and I will go with you and Kio. We will lead you to his workplace. Nagisa-sensei took us there a few times."  
"Thanks... But once we get there, I need everyone to stay outside. I must do this on my own..."

* * *

"Ritsu- sensei, we need to talk."  
"I have no interest in speaking with you."  
"It's about Soubi."

Ritsu stopped his work and finally looked up at Ritsuka.

"Shut the door."

"Seimei is alive and I fear for both Soubi and myself. I need you to teach me how to control Soubi."


	12. Chapter 12

I understand now.  
I know what I must do.

_Ping!_

**Rit:**  Soubi, come to Kio's house. That's an order.

* * *

_Tap tap.._

"Soubi.. Come in. Sit."

He did as instructed, though he was confused.

"Is something wrong, Ritsuka?"  
"You came without hesitation." Ritsuka kissed him softly on the lips, caressing underneath his chin. "Good boy. I like when you listen to me, Soubi. But the thing is, you haven't been. Do you know how upsetting that is? You don't want to upset me, do you?"  
"No, Ritsuka. I try my best not to."  
"Now that just isn't true, is it? You've been very disobedient recently. I suppose I can overlook it, since that was the past. But we need to set some rules in place." He traced his finger over his cheek and through his long, flowing hair. "You will obey me, Soubi. If you do not, I will have to punish you."

Soubi's eyes burned with a fierce passion. Ritsu was right.. This is just what he wants to hear.

"Yes, Ritsuka. Anything you want."  
"I want you to take me somewhere far, far away."

Ritsuka...  
You don't know just how much I needed to hear those words.  
Let's run away together. Escape this awful place and never look back.

Sensing Soubi's emotions, Ritsuka held him tightly, nuzzling his hair.

Hold me like this forever, Ritsuka.  
Please don't ever let me go.  
If you let go.. I'm afraid of what might happen next.

Soubi is trembling.  
He needs this. I need this. I'll never give up on you.  
I will fight until the end. I will save you from him.

They packed a few things, just what they needed, and set it in the car. Soubi sat in the drivers seat, across from a determined young Ritsuka. He grabbed his hand and squeezed gently before he drove away.  
Away from their old lives. Away from the pain.

Ristuka.. You make my world so much better. You make me want to live.

Ritsuka stared out of the window, deep in thought.  
Gathering his courage..

"Soubi.. If Seimei orders you to kill me, will you do it?"

The sound of the tires on the street was the only barrier between them and the painfully tense silence. Soubi's grip on the wheel tightened.

"I.. If he ordered me to... I would have to.."  
He was afraid to look over to Ritsuka.  
"Seimei has total control over me.. No matter how I fight, I can't disobey any order he gives... But understand.. I would die with you, Ritsuka. I can not exist without you.. Without seeing you, touching you... A life without you isn't a life at all."

* * *

"Just one room?"  
"Yes, please. For one night."  
"Room 18,down the hall on the left."  
"Thank you."

Ritsuka showered and covered himself in a bathrobe. He looked to Soubi before finding his bag. His heart felt as if it could beat out of his chest.

I have to be strong. This is it.  
I can't let him see I'm nervous.

"Soubi.." He sat in his lap and rested his hand on his bare chest, looking into his frightened eyes.  
He's trying so hard to be strong. Let me take that fear away from you.  
"This body.. This flesh. This heart and soul... It belongs to me."

Soubi inhaled deeply. Such intensity in every word.  
Ritsuka is irresistible like this.

"Yes, Ritsuka."  
"Even that voice. All of you. You are mine."  
"Yours. All yours.." He wanted to reach out to touch him, but felt he needed permission.  
"Not Seimei's. Say it."  
"I.. I belong to Ritsuka. Not Seimei."  
"Good boy." He rewarded him with a kiss. "Even so, it all belongs to you as well. For that reason, I'm going to ask for your permission before I do what I wish to do to you."

Soubi was melting with each word.  
I can see that control slipping away... Seimei is becoming powerless.  
This bond between you and me.. Can you feel it becoming stronger already?

"Give in to me." Ritsuka whispered. "Surrender yourself. Let yourself slip away. I will be there to catch you."  
He unwrapped the bandages from Soubi's neck and kissed the scarred letters.  
"This name... I want to erase it, but I can't. I want to free you from this name." He whispered, his warm breath against Soubi's cold skin. "And I want to replace it with my own."

Ritsuka took a knife out of his pocket, his intentions clear. Soubi guided the blade to his neck.  
"Free me. Make me yours. Anywhere. Place your name wherever you want."  
"This is going to hurt."  
"Please.. Make it hurt as much as possible. I don't ever want to forget this pain. Carve it deep into my memory."

Ritsuka crossed through the word "beloved". Soubi winced, grabbing Rituka's wrist when he finished. He held it so tightly, taking in the feeling.

"I free you from this name. It isn't yours."

He laid Soubi back onto the bed and kissed down his torso until he was at his hip bones.

"Here. I will claim you."  
"Please do."

L-o-v-e-l-e-s-s

He carved each letter carefully between his hip bones, kissing each one.  
Soubi gasped.

It doesn't hurt, though it should.  
Each cut sends a sensational chill through my body.  
It's amazing.  
The pleasure is becoming overwhelming.

Soubi arched his back toward Ritsuka, his eyes shut tightly. He grabbed Ritsuka's hips, perfectly positioned over his growing desire. Ritsuka moved his hips lightly, grinding against him. The robe fell down from his body and he sat over Soubi, his pale, beautiful skin exposed.

Soubi's eyes pleaded.

"Go ahead. Touch me. I'm yours."

He pulled Ritsuka onto him, exploring his body. His movements were slow.  
I don't want to miss anything.

Their bodies grew hot, rubbing against each other.

Soubi kissed Ritsuka deeply, his tongue elegantly caressing his.  
Ritsuka cupped his chin in his hand and sighed against his open lips.  
Soubi flipped him over so he was on top and kissed along his jawline, ending at his ear.

Ritsuka smells amazing. It's intoxicating.

He kissed down his neck before sitting up. He smiled softly as he took Ritsuka's hand and planted a small kiss on the back of it.  
Slowly, he made his way up his arm, kissing around his shoulder and smoothly flowing into his sensitive collar bones.

"Your body is amazing, Ritsuka. I could kiss every inch of it."

He felt his warm mouth closing over his nipple while Soubi gently traced a finger around the other, mimicking his talented tongue.  
He sucked mildly, feeling his body respond immediately.

"Ah..."  
He held Soubi to him, starting to squirm beneath him.

His hands wandered down his stomach, followed by his mouth.

"Do you like biting, Ritsuka?"  
"I.. I don't know."  
"Tell me if it starts to hurt, okay?"

He bit very softly above his navel, testing it out. He moved slightly, biting a little harder.  
He continued along his sides, following the soft moans as his teeth pulled at his delicate skin.

He pulled away, spreading Ritsuka's trembling legs.

He's responding so well. I want to make this beautiful body quiver with desire.  
I wonder if he's ever touched himself before..  
Does he touch himself to the thought of me?  
Or will I get the honour of introducing pleasure to him?

"Please don't stop.."

He nibbled beside his knee, working his way up until he was back to his hip bones.  
So close, but not close enough. Ritsuka tilted his hips forward, aching to be touched.  
Soubi teased.

"I want you Soubi.." Desire was thick in his voice, and Soubi's body responded just how he wanted it.  
"Hah!.."  
He took him into his hand, swirling his tongue around the tip.  
"Soubi.." He panted.  
Soubi took him into his mouth, feeling Ritsuka's hand twist into his hair.  
Slow, delicious torture.  
So close... And he stopped.  
Ritsuka looked desperately, searching for a reason.  
Soubi started stroking himself as Ritsuka watched intensely.

He returned, picking up where he left off.  
He stroked himself to the rhythm of his mouth, feeling every ounce of Ritsuka's pleasure filling his mouth as he was pushed over the edge.

Ritsuka laid back in shock; his body sensitive and weak...

"You liked that?"

Ritsuka nodded in reply.  
Soubi slipped a finger into his mouth, pulling it out to trace around his entrance before slipping inside his tight body.  
Ritsuka groaned softly.  
He fingered him carefully, easing him into it.  
He added another as he tried to get Ritsuka to move to his rhythm.  
It became easier as he started to relax, accepting the very new concept.  
A third, stretching him in preparation.

"Are you ready for something bigger?"

Nervously, Ritsuka nodded.  
So scary, but so thrilling.

Soubi positioned himself, prodding at his body with his pre-cum slick penis.  
He eased into him, afraid to hurt him.

Ritsuka's body tightened around him, holding him. Welcoming him.  
Slowly... Tantalisingly slow...  
Ritsuka's hips greeted each thrust, pulling him back for more.  
He pulled him closer, gripping his back.. Soft pleas to go faster. Deeper..

Yes..  
This closeness.  
We've become one. Nothing is in our way.  
Nothing to hold us back.  
I can feel all of you. Our bodies perfectly in sync with the other.

Ritsuka's ears and tail turned to tiny butterflies, fluttering away, disappearing with each breathtaking move.

Their bodies tensed, letting go together. The world began to fade.  
Just you and me.  
That's all that matters.  
That's all that is.

"I love you, Soubi."

Soubi's eyes widened.. He's never said that before.

"I love you, too, Ritsuka.. So much."

* * *

The trees passed them by as they traveled back down the road, not knowing where they would end up. One hand on the wheel, the other enclosed in Ritsuka's.

"Seimei must go." Soubi's voice was soft.  
"Then let's kill him."

* * *

"Seimei. I don't now where you are.. I don't know if you will hear this. You seem to always know where to find us, though, so I expect this message will get to you. Meet me at midnight on the bridge. We have catching up to do."

* * *

Shadows covered a vast majority of the short bridge. No one went this way anymore.. Perfect for the final battle.  
The clock ticked, minutes from midnight.

"Ritsuka. Soubi. Hello. What a surprise. I thought you would be alone."  
"You're early."  
"I hate to wait. Soubi, come to me."

Soubi did not move.

"Soubi. Here, now."  
"You're no longer my master. I listen to Ritsuka's orders alone."  
"Ha... Ha ha ha! How cute. How long do you think you can keep it up? You're being a bad boy, Soubi. Bad boys get punished."

"Enough talk. We're here to fight."  
"Oh? You're going to fight me, Ritsuka? But I'm your brother. Come on. We can take Soubi down. Join me."  
"I would never join a monster like you."  
"Harsh. If that's how you feel, it will be no trouble at all destroying you.  **Battle system: engage. Do you accept?** "  
" **We accept.** "  
"Destroy him, Soubi. Don't stop until it's over."  
"Yes, Ritsuka.  **Beloved. Loved by all. Destroy those bonds, for you are hated eternally.** "  
"So silly. Ritsuka, you chose a poor partner. Should have found your real fighter. One day, that bond will  **destroy this little fantasy and separate you and Soubi.** "  
" **Your words hold no power. We see past your petty attempts.** "

* * *

"Ritsuka.. I will tell you my real name. I'll tell only you. Beloved. Don't ever forget."

"Ritsuka, you know to run from mother when she's like this. Here. Let's find you a band-aid."

"Ritsuka..."

Memories. Memories flooding back.  
Seimei... My loving brother.  
My protector..  
No... No!  
No!

* * *

"Soubi! We aren't dealing with anything human. Focus! Rip him apart from within. Do it for us!"  
" **Back into the depths of Hell from which you came! Pest, we have no use for you here.** "  
" **Sever.** "  
" **Lacerate!** "

He's strong.. But not as strong as Soubi.

Ritsuka pulled Soubi to him, kissing him.. Transferring his power into him.  
"Kill him."

" **No defense. You have no chance. Slice through his being and rupture his existence.**  
**That which never was can never be.** "

Seimei fell to his knees, blood dripping from his mouth.

"Ritsuka. You can't do this. I finally came back to you. You'll hate yourself forever if you let him do this."

Ritsuka turned his back to him. A chill was in the air.

"Finish him, Soubi. And make it hurt."

" **Rip! Piece by piece you will disappear. Into the fire you were destined to die in three years ago."**

Seimei's body burst into flames. He screams broke through the air as his skin melted.  
He crumbled, hitting the cold, hard ground as the flames died out. All that remained was bone.

"Is it really over?"

Soubi snapped the spot where Seimei's neck would be and tossed him into the ocean. Freedom. Complete freedom.

"It's all over, Ritsuka. Seimei's presence no longer lingers on this earth."

Ritsuka ran to him in tears, embracing him.

There's no mistake. Seimei is gone. He's finally gone...

Ritsuka collapsed, screaming in pain.

"Ritsuka!"

"It... It hurts.. Gah!"

He held his hand low on his abdomen.

"It's okay Ritsuka... Let me see.."  
Soubi lifted his shirt to find the word "Loveless" carving itself between Ritsuka's hip bones, written exactly as it was on himself.

"Your name came in.."

* * *

You can destroy me, rip me to pieces and scatter me over the world... But as long as you're with me, I will always be whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post this. I had it published on Fanfiction and had trouble transferring it. For those who will read, those who have possibly waited, here it is.


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